Awesome Land!: An Interactive Story

[Xero]

Out of nowhere appeared the Perverted Fat Guy. Somehow still on fire, he ran past the Time Keeper, who just stared on in wonder.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Back in the present, Salvatore, seeing the massive citizen army advancing on him, looked around for a way to escape to fight another day. He noticed a portal right where Cha Cha had been standing previously and dashed for it. He dove into the portal and crumpled in a heap in the sand..... Sand! Where was he? He looked around and saw boats. Two boats, to be exact. He was at a dock. And standing by one of the boats was Cha Cha, hurriedly preparing the boat to set sail to a small island that could just barely be seen in the distance. He started for the dock. Just then, the portal began to make frightening thunderous noises and a figure crashed through the portal to the ground. Salvatore whirled around and immediately fell to a defensive pose. Cha Cha merely glanced up and continued untying the boat from the dock as the figure began to stand up.

[Duke Nukem]

Austin, hurry up so we can have an epic battle to end all battles that preceded it.

[Mizagium]

"Cha Cha, I'm here." Johnny stood up and dusted himself off. Is this the place?" The False Shield and Ugly Stick were strapped to his back. Johnny glanced around cautiously, not noticing Salvatore who was lying in the sand.

[Xero]

"Not quite," said Cha Cha. "We have to sail to that island out there." He pointed to the small island on the horizon. "I'll explain everything on the way over there. Come on."
Cha Cha stepped into the small boat and held the rope tight to keep the boat in the dock.

Salvatore relaxed from his fighter's stance when he saw that the figure was Johnny, and he walked to the dock and joined Cha Cha in the boat, waiting for Johnny.

[Mizagium]

Johnny pointed his thumb at Salvatore. "He's coming, too?" He cast him a suspicious glance., but boarded the small boat anyway.

God, he hated the sea.

[Xero]

"Don't worry," Cha Cha reassured Johnny, seeing his suspicious glance. "He's with us." Cha Cha pulled the rope into the boat and pushed off from the dock, paddling hard with a paddle he had found on the dock. "Don't just sit there," he said to Salvatore and Johnny. He pointed at two more paddles in the boat. "Paddle! We don't have much time."

[Mizagium]

"****." Johnny mumbled to himself, while trying to hold down his lunch. He reluctantly picked up the paddle and began to row. He glanced back at Awesome Land.

"So, what does this island have to do with Sarah?"

[wolvy]

Salvatore was but swenyado, in his tongue, trapped in mental conversation with those closest to you, when the boat set sail.

"Brother, I sense this is coming to an end. Another small dimension meeting its epic end. Will you help?" Salvatore had a sense of panic in his voice, fearing how this muddled conflict would destroy this land.

"Hmm." Dante's voice echoed with gravity. "Unless you are in a situation of complete chaos, I cannot. I am too powerful to fight with any of those warriors. Well, I do not know."

Salvatore could barely speak, completely flabbergasted. "You can defeat a Guardian, the psuedo-Gods of Laitia! How could these guys give you trouble?"

"This dimension is Senza Limites, Salvatore. A banished wasteland where any fool can be as powerful as they want. Some of them will obtain too much power and will have the consequences, but it may be too late then. They cannot do anything to our world, but simultaneously, we cannot do anything to them. An unstoppable force against an immovable wall." Dante paused, lightening his mood. "But hey, from chaos and destruction rebirths hope, right?" Salvatore was silent, fearing his circumstances and those of his compadres. "You are needed, Brother. Some them what is means to be Laitai, alright?"

Salvatore smiled, knowing Dante would leave training and fight along his side in an instant. "See you when thi-"

Salvatore's thought and swenyado was broken by the perfectly tuned command of ChaCha. "Paddle! We don't have much time!"

See you later, Dante. "Alright, alright, ChaCha, hold your horses." Salvatore moved to the o-so-welcoming paddles and began rowing, keeping his rhythm with the other two. "This stroke pattern reminds me of 150..."

[Sartorius]

Taenas and his forces approached Taco Bell, all really armed and very dangerous. In the loudest voice he could muster, Taenas yelled "Attention! All customers who can actually stomach this are to exit the building immediately by order of Lord Veralice." All too familiar with the vomit inducing food of the restaurant, he did his best to avoid nausea as he awaited the patrons of Taco Bell.

Meanwhile, Veralice teleported to the ruins of what was once the great Omnistar and started experimenting with his dark magic, leaving his section of the IA on its own. "Hmm..." he said, in deep thought of his next brilliant scheme. He took a small shard of glass from the ruins. Aiming his index finger at the shard, he said "Silumbra". A dark bolt of energy went from his index finger into the glass and Veralice gave a slight smirk. "Perfect." he whispered to himself, going back to the IA before things got out of hand.

[Duke Nukem]

Narrator emerged from Taco Bell. He had underwent another costume change. His now long, black hair was tied back by a black bandana. He wore a sleveless black shirt (essentially a wife-beater) and advanced unit military issue baggy pants. The pants had many pockets of mysteries. In each hand Narrator held an M16 machine gun, and a shotgun was strapped across his back. Narrator had become Rambo. Brace yourselves...

Taenas noticed that the Taco Bell had a moat dug around it. The moat was filled with starving Taco Bell customers (they were starving because Narrator had personally pumped their stomachs before placing them in the pit encircling his restaurant).

"If you want out of there, you'd better earn your way out," the super-cool new Rambo-style Narrator said in a patronizing tone. "You DO want to get out of there, right?"

Without waiting for a response Narrator called out to Taenas, "Bring it on, kid. I'm ready for the epic battle that will surely result from this meeting of awesome-class characters. Are you?"

It was Taenas's move in the elaborate game of strategy Narrator had set up prior to the army's arrival.

[Xero]

"One year ago," Cha Cha began, " when your sister came to Awesome Land in pursuit of Veralice, who had stolen the Beauty Mirror, Sarah ran into a man who knew your entire family from his time in Really Cool. He is now called the Time Keeper. He sought revenge on the Mambutoo O'Malleys after what you did to him with your Ugly Stick, so he told Sarah that Veralice could be found on an island off the coast of Awesome Land. This island was is called Veraland because Veralice discovered it as a child. He had found a boat on one of his adventures and sailed out to the island, where he went every once in a while. Veraland became his "base". He built up supplies on the island and amassed an enormous store of weapons, armor, food, and other miscellaneous items. He built a small shack to keep all his supplies. Then, one day, the memory of Veraland was completely erased from his mind. No one knows why, but he never returned to that island and hasn't been there to this very day.
"When Sarah arrived at the island, she had no time to react. The Time Keeper opened a dimension portal inside the shack. Sarah was rummaging through the armor when she was sucked into the portal and into the Null Void, or Veral-Dimension. Nobody knows why it's called the Veral-Dimension. Maybe it was named in honor of him. Maybe anything destroyed by him or his minions is sent there. Or maybe it's just his dark magic coursing throughout Awesome Land that led the people to believe that the dimension was created by Veralice. Anyway, Sarah was sucked into the dimension and was trapped there forever... at least, that's what the Time Keeper thought.
"When I "died," I teleported back to McJimmy's, before it became Omnistar, and asked if anyone knew how to defeat Veralice. A strange Perverted Fat Guy stood up, his McJimBurger falling all over his front side and leaving a giant mess on his chair. He told me about Veraland and the Veral-Dimension. He told me about the True Sword and about Sarah. And he showed me the way to Veraland so I could find Sarah and get the True Sword to help you.
So I came to this dock and found a boat and sailed across to the island. I found the shack and saw the dimension-rip. As soon as I set foot in the shack, I was sucked into the portal. When I came back to consciousness, there was the True Sword! The portal had transported me into the Veral-Dimension right next to the Sword! I was just about to leave when I felt a strange tug on my mind. It seemed to call to me.... but it wasn't actually searching for me. It was looking for you. I knew it had to be Sarah, so I plunged deeper into the Null Void to find her. When I found her, she was a mere shadow, slowly fading from existence. She begged me to find you and tell you that she's alright, and to bring you the True Sword. I promised her that I would return with you to bring her out of the Veral-Dimension. But the only thing keeping her in existence was the fact that the True Sword was still in the dimension, canceling Veralice's Corruption. So I gave her a Soul Patch infused with my power and the power of the Sword, and she immediately transformed from a fading shadow to a solid human being. She's still safe inside the Veral-Dimension, and now we have to save her."
He finished his story as they landed on the beach of Veraland. Cha Cha tied boat to a peg and drove it in deep into the ground, then began walking towards a shack in the center of the island.

The island was your average sterotypical tropical island. Lots of palm trees on the beach. Random other trees scattered and mixed all over the island. Sand. Lots and lots of sand. And a hut/shack made out of tree branches and giant leaves. Apparently, Veralice had been a defier of physics as a child, causing the shack to survive countless hurricanes and tsunamis in perfect condition... well, without any harm being done to the less than perfect hut. Cha Cha reached the door, then stopped and turned around, waiting impatiently for the others to get out of the boat.

(Edited by HAEZ: Sarah only cam to AL one year ago, other that that you are making a good backstory.)

[Sartorius]

It was Taenas's move in the elaborate game of strategy Narrator had set up prior to the army's arrival.[/quote]

"Yep. I'm ready." replied Taenas with a smirk. "Children, surround him!" Taenas commanded. The little 6 and 7 year old boys and girls in the Imperial Army surrounded Rambo, err, Narrator, I mean. They were all armed with lances and prayed they wouldn't die painfully.

Meanwhile, in some other part of AL

"Ugh...I can't find that blasted fool anywhere!" Veralice yelled. "Imperial Army, head back to the Omnistar Ruins so you can help me rebuild it. I need something to do until Johnny reveals himself.

[Sartorius]

As they arrived at the ruins of Omnistar, all of the Imperial Army were shocked at what they saw: Debris and rubble! The citizens were all very clean folk and, despite the emperor's evil, they were ridiculously loyal to him. At once they began gathering the trash, recycling and using it to rebuild.

"You all are marvelous! Never have I seen such loyalty..." Veralice said. A tear almost came to his eye, but he is physically and mentally unable to shed tears. "Hmm, for your loyalty, I have a plan for you all...Ha ha ha ha!" Veralice laughed maniacally, sending chills down the spines of his army.

The emperor several feet away from the building and began constructing something of his own. "Hmm...There must be a way to do this without spending a year...Ah, Hyperbolic Time Chamber spell!" Veralice said aloud as he examined a book he kept in his pocket. Saying a few words, the section of land he and the army were working on were enveloped in a HYPERBOLIC TIME CHAMBER, giving them loads of time to work.

With the new HBTC spell, days to them were seconds, and 1 day was equivalent to about 10 years. By nightfall the Imperial Army had finished constructing the new building. Veralice finished his construction at the same time and said "Thank you, all! This is marvelous!" The building was ridiculously huge, at least 100 times larger than the original Omnistar. It could accommodate at least half of AL's population.

"Now, to complete the building, we must all hold hands." Veralice said kindly. Uneasily and reluctantly they all stood in a circle holding hands. At the emperor's command, they bowed their heads. "Indestros." Veralice muttered. With a fraction of energy from everyone, the building was enveloped in a silver glow, rendering it indestructible by all but the most powerful forms of magic.

"Now, all of you shall follow me and see what I have built." Veralice commanded, taking them to the other side of the indestructible building. A few hundred feet away was Veralice's new creation. "OMG ITS A SCHOOL!" one of the children yelled excitedly. "Now we can be less stupid!" said a little girl. They hadn't gone to school since Veralice became evil and welcomed the chance wholeheartedly.

"This school will teach you the basic arts of math, English, and Dragon Riding, which is capitalized because it's the coolest subject ever. You will learn to ride dragons and become very powerful citizens. It is open to adults and children, so enjoy yourselves. I hereby christen these twin buildings the Dark Hole Academy and the Dark Hole Headquarters." Veralice said, and the army all ran inside the school to learn.

[Sartorius]

"Perfect. My citizens are happy, loyal, and shall soon be educated. Exactly what the Emperor needs..." said Veralice, ascending the steps to the top floor of the horrendously large Dark Hole HQ. At the top was an observatory where he could see all of Awesome Land and some areas surrounding it.

Veralice sat down in the new Imperial Throne from which he could control every aspect of the building with a nifty remote control that activated when Hystoger was placed into it. "I'll need some teachers for that academy...Tough, strict, but good teachers..." Veralice said, drawing a cell phone from his pocket. Yea, he has a cell phone, and it's exactly 1,952,125 times better than any phone today.

He dialed a number, calling one of his former friends. "Hello there. How would you like to assist me?" Veralice asked the person.

"Who are you?" asked the voice with a tone of slight anger.

"It's me. I'm Leon. Remember, we were childhood friends." Veralice reminded the voice.

After pausing to register who Leon was, the voice bitterly said "You...We've parted ways since childhood. I am no longer your friend, not after you cast me away. You're evil..." said the voice bitterly.

"Walter, I am not evil. I do the things I do for the greater good. And besides, I need someone to teach my citizens about those divine creatures of yours." Veralice replied calmly.

"Your magic can create them, can't it? Why should I come and teach them about creatures when you could do that yourself?" asked a skeptical Walter.

As if hesitant to say so, Veralice gulped and replied "My magic is not omnipotent. I am not immortal. I am a mere man with limited power, and creating dragons, real dragons is beyond my control. I can create fake zombie wyverns, but that is it."

"Veralice, you betrayed me, and because of you I am a very angry person. I try to restrain myself from mindless killing, but I find it hard because of you...Sealing me in this dimension forever. If the dragons had not come to me...I would have..." Walter stopped, unable to finish the sentence.

"I understand, but believe me I didn't mean to do that. My dimension powers were limited at the time; I thought I could bring you back but I couldn't." Veralice apologized sincerely.

After long consideration, Walter said "Fine. I'll believe you for now. I will teach your citizens about dragons should they request it, allow them to ride them and even train them as knights, and I will defend the country with my life. My services to you end there, however."

"Fine. BTW, I'm Emperor of Awesome Land. Thought I'd tell you since you've been out of the loop forever now." Veralice laughed half heartedly.

"You...What? You...I haven't seen you since we were children, and still you have a thirst for power..." and with that Walter hung up and began his departure into Awesome Land.

[Duke Nukem]

Narrator doesn't like children.

Narrator, reacting to the small children surrounding him, pulled a string none of them noticed. A catapult hidden in the trees launched several hundred gallons of ice-cream miles into the distance. The children, too excited to even think of what they were doing, rushed after the ice-cream with speed comparable to that of cheetas.

"I'll just say that I took one of your little horsie-peices right thar," Narrator taunted. "MY TURN!!??!"

Narrator pulled another string, causing several swinging logs to fly at Taenas and his army. Narrator, being Rambo-esque, loves his traps.

[Sartorius]

"Perhaps Veralice shouldn't have had me work with children..." Taenas said to himself. "Very well, then. Imperial Army, Defensive Maneuver SLD1!" Taenas commanded. Several IA members lifted the stronger ones onto the swinging logs. Because of the way pendulum like devices work, the logs swung back toward Narrator, this time with soldiers and swords on them.

[Sartorius]

At Dark Hole Headquarters, Veralice awaited his former friend Walter to arrive. The children at the DHA were patiently waiting for a teacher to tell them about riding dragons. Meanwhile, their parents and the other adults of Awesome Land were lined up at Veralice's office looking for a job. Veralice had told them that he had given up his army for now, leaving them all unemployed.Their former jobs had been taken by zombies created by Veralice, so there was no business in Awesome Land to turn to besides the dreaded Taco bell. The line started at the ground level, and considering Veralice's office was at the top of DH HQ, one could tell that there are a lot of people there.

"Look, there are a lot of you here. A few of you could tend to this building and some others could work at the school, but there simply aren't enough jobs to go around for everyone." Veralice said calmly, rising from the Imperial Throne. A huge fracas ensued and Veralice paced, pondering over his next course of action.

"Ah! I've got it! It's a perfect idea! I'll get a vacation and you all will have a temporary job!" Veralice yelled, teleporting into his closet. A flash of darkness could be seen and the emperor emerged in a new form. He wore boots and a black jacket. His hood had turned into a bandana and a small, demonic dragon could be seen on his shoulder. "Yar! Call me Captain L! Ye have all been switched from the former army to me new crew!" Hystoger took the form of a scimitar and began to glow, as if responding to this event. "First order of business: Make a ship!" Captain L yelled, jumping from the top floor of DH HQ and landing on the ground without a sound. He began building a giant pirate ship, and the eager to work citizens walked down the stairs and began to join him.

[Mizagium]

Johnny stepped off the boat onto the sandy island. It was a pretty stereotypical island. Uninhabited, just slightly off-shore. Yep, this was a plot devise if he ever saw one.

He waited for Cha Cha to lead the way. "I kinda feel bad about leaving Narrator alone to face Veralice's army..."

[Duke Nukem]

Narrator doesn't like logs.

Narrator, never to be outdone, pulled a small metal square out from one of his magical pockets. It had a button, which Narrator promptly pressed. The soldier-carrying logs exploded in a grand fashion, raining wood chips and flaming bits of metal everywhere. Some of the Taco Bell customers ate the woods chips, receiving splinters in their tounges and throats. Narrator didn't care.

"As if I'd throw just any logs at you. I rigged them to be SUPER-SPECIAL EXPLOSIVE LOGS," Narrator laughed. "Suck that, kiddo."

Narrator turned around and pissed out a small pile of flaming metal and wood chips, laughing all the while.

[Sartorius]

The soldiers who had been on the logs fell to the ground, slightly harmed. "Well played, Narrator. No wonder the emperor can't defeat you. SGD Maneuver!" commanded Taenas.

The most powerful of the spear wielding children who had not run off to get ice cream began to spin their weapons with lightning fast speed. The resulting winds propelled the flaming chips of wood and metal back towards Narrator.

[Duke Nukem]

Narrator pissed them out. Conveniently enough, Narrator pisses excellence, so the bits of metal became robots and the wood chips became the talking trees from the Wizard of Oz. These new Narrator minions were too heavy to be blown by the wind of mere children and began to move slowly towards Taenas's force, poised to strike.

"Sometimes I'm so awesome I surprise even myself..." Narrator said.

[Sartorius]

"What the heck?" Taenas said angrily. "We're gonna need help to defeat you, Narrator." Taenas replied, staring in awe at the trees and robots. He drew his blade, Sindios, and spoke into it. "Veralice, we need some reinforcements. Preferably strong ones."

At DH HQ, Veralice heard his cell phone ring and the words were heard. Narrator can't be that hard to defeat. Perhaps I put too much faith into Taenas. Whatever... the emperor thought. Saying one of his secret incantations, he summoned a batch of zombie dragons, the kind he hadn't used for at least 10 pages. "Yar, go help me first mate." commanded Veralice, still in his Captain L disguise.

The zombie dragons flew toward Narrator, breathing a ring of flame around the area they were fighting.

[Duke Nukem]

Narrator doesn't like fire arenas. Narrator pissed out the flame ring surrounding him and Taenas (and the stupid army).

"Go my minions, wreak havoc among the enemy," Narrator commanded.

The trees and robots immediately leaped over Narrator's moat and began attacking the army. The trees began rapidly swinging their branches and the robots fired their lazars. Some robots aimed at the army, while others aimed at the zombie-dragons overhead.

[Duke Nukem]

NARRATOR PISSES EXCELLENCE

[Sartorius]

At this rate I'm going to lose...I can't beat him...Every time I think of something he counters with something better. thought Taenas.

Captain L sensed Taenas' trouble and said to himself "What a wuss. Can't even defeat Narrator." He knew full well that not even he could defeat Narrator, but bashing Taenas made him feel better about it. Riding a zombie dragon, Captain L flew in and yelled "This fight is completely one sided! I will ensure that both of you fight to the death with the utmost fairness!" he yelled. Raising Hystoger into the air, Veralice sent Taenas, Narrator, and both armies into the Sealed Dimension, where everyone was normal and no one could defy physics at all.

"What the? My power...It's...?" Taenas said, feeling his power fading away. "Curse you Veralice!" yelled Taenas as Narrator's minions turned back into metal and wood, and Taenas' army turned into normal humans. "Ugh...Without my full power, I'll lose..." said Taenas, rushing up to Narrator with his sword drawn.