Awesome Land!: An Interactive Story

[Sartorius]

As Captain L flew back, he was shocked to find out that his ship had been completed. "This be excellent! Now, let me just fix ye all." said the captain, using magic to clothe them all in pirate outfits. "Now, with the ship complete, we set sail!" Captain L yelled. Teleporting everyone onto the ship, he placed Hystoger into the steering wheel to activate it and began sailing off the coast of Awesome Land to a destination not even he knew.

[Xero]

As Salvatore and Johnny caught up with Cha Cha, the Trumpet Hero looked off into the distance anxiously. He was looking at the dock and wondering how Narrator was faring against Veralice, when something waving in the distance caught his eye. He squinted and looked hard at the object coming around the island. It was a boat. He thought nothing of it. But as he began to turn around to head into the shack, he noticed something strange about the boat. There was a strange glow about it. And the flag was pitch black with only a white stick on it. But when Cha Cha looked again, he saw that it wasn't a stick, but a sword! He looked up and saw dragons flying over the island, and then it hit him: Veralice was on his way to Veraland!
He whirled around and shoved Johnny and Salvatore into the shack. "GO!" he yelled. He dove into the portal in the shack after his companions and lost consciousness.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Johnny!" said a voice. "Johnny, is that really you?"
Cha Cha opened his eyes and looked around. He was in the Veral-Dimension. Johnny was still unconscious, and Sarah was at Johnny's side trying to wake him up. Salvatore had already regained consciousness and was wandering around the Null Void.

[Sartorius]

"Yar...That island...Seems familiar. Could that be...?" Captain L questioned himself. "We land at that island!" he commanded, lifting Hystoger to summon a breeze powerful enough to increase the ship's speed by 9000. Instantaneously they were at the island.

"There doesn't seem to be any one here..." he said, signaling his crew to abandon ship and set foot on the island.

[Xero]

"Sarah!" Cha Cha called. "We don't have much time! We have to get you out of here now! Veralice is on his way here!"

Conveniently, some armor and weapons had fallen in the shack and had slipped into the portal when Cha Cha pushed Johnny into the shack. Cha Cha threw on a chest-plate and slipped into a pair of beaten boots. He put on some leather gloves and grabbed a bow and a quiver of arrows. He wrapped himself in a camouflage cloak and placed a helmet on his head. He slung his quiver over his shoulder and slipped his bow into his belt next to the True Sword.

[Xero]

As Captain Leon's men stepped onto the island, the boat began to shake. Veralice braced himself against the door to the captain's quarters until the shaking stopped. Refusing to wonder what had happened, Veralice leapt to the ground, splashing through the waters of low tide. As the Emperor of Awesome Land took his first step on Veraland since his childhood, memories flooded back to him: memories of his many adventures he had taken into the woods of Awesome Land, his scavenging missions to find dead soldiers and take their armor and weapons.
Captain L's train of thought was broken quite suddenly by the Perverted Fat Man, who had stowed away on the ship. Actually, he had had no choice. He had been running around in the woods next to Lake Awesome when one of Veralice's minions had come by to chop down some trees. A branch from a falling tree had knocked him out, and he had been dragged away, his boot being caught on another branch. He had regained consciousness hours later... only to find that he was now part of the ship. The pirates had kept it quiet from Veralice because any wood was useful, and a dead man was just as useful as logs. He finally managed to break free, and he now ventured onto the island, once again, somehow on fire. He ran past Veralice, sparks blowing into Veralice's face, sending the parrot on his shoulder into a frenzy. The parrot flew off and landed on a nearby palm tree. The Perverted Fat Guy ran back towards Veralice and ran into the ship. There was a loud creaking sound, and the parrot said loudly, "Krrrrrawwk!!! Abandon ship! Abandon ship! Krrraawwk!!" Veralice turned to look at his new ship just in time to see it crash onto its side on the island on top of some of his men.

[Duke Nukem]

Narrator was done pissing. He looked around, and realized he wasn't in Awesome Land anymore and Taenas was running at him. Taenas forgot Narrator had guns.

"I don't think so," Narrator said, shooting Taenas in the knee. "There, that's better."

With Taenas incapacitated for the moment, Narrator tried to think of a way back to Awesome Land. He reached into his pocket and took out a megaphone. Screaming into the megaphone for a really long time, a rip in the fabric of the Sealed Dimension opened up, and Narrator stepped through it into Awesome Land again.

"Sweet," Narrator said.

Narrator was hungry. He went into his Taco Bell and rustled up a burrito. Unfortunately for Narrator, he wasn't very thorough in checking his ingredients, and picked the E. Coli lettuce. After eating the toxic burrito, Narrator doubled over in pain and nausea. About 3.14159 seconds later, Narrator had fought off the disease, BUT AT WHAT COST?!!?!??!! Taking the "hint" from Austin, Narrator was no longer ridiculously invincible.

"Awww, dag. I wanted to kick some more physically impossible ass..." Narrator mumbled, picking up his guns and leaving the Taco Bell.

[Sartorius]

(Lol...It wasn't so much of a hint. I really just wanted to see what Narrator would do if he was confined to mortal powers and means of attack. He did exactly what I thought he would.

"Son of a-" Taenas stopped, refusing to say profane words. "Ah, I guess I'm stuck here with a bleeding knee and no powers until Veralice hopefully saves me..." Taenas said angrily, sitting down in the nothingness of the Sealed Dimension, dozing off. A young girl of the IA began to patch up his knee as he fell asleep.

Meanwhile, at the island

Captain L's anger quickly returned to him as he saw his ship crash onto the island. Still the slightly benevolent emperor, he moved the ship with his magic powers and fixed the men who had been crushed. "Hmm...Whoever is responsible for that annoyingly perverted fat man's arrival here will pay." Captain L barked. "Begin to scour the island...Veraland." Veralice remembered. Memories of the things he hid here returned to him and a lust for power grew inside him.

[Xero]

In the Verl-Dimension, a strange window-like thing appeared in front of the warriors. The window showed what was going on in Veraland. Cha Cha saw Veralice dressed as a pirate. He couldn't help but snicker at the emperor's appearance. He saw the pirate army scouring the island. And he saw the Perverted Fat Guy, still flaming and still unconscious on the ground next to the ship. The pirates hadn't reached the shack yet, but it was only a matter of time until they did.
Cha Cha snapped back to the Veral-Dimension. He felt he was forgetting something, but he couldn't put his finger on it. He began fixing his disguise to look more like a pirate while he tried to think of what he was forgetting. He took off his helmet and folded up his cloak to use it as a bandanna. He took off all his armor and slashed at a pair of baggy pants, then put on the shredded rag. He couldn't find a shirt, so he decided he would have to move quickly to find one once he returned to Veraland. he took another Soul Patch and tied it around his head and pulled it down over his eye. He dropped his bow and quiver and picked up a handful of choice daggers, sheathing them next to the True Sword. The True Sword, having similar adaptation abilities to those of Hystoger, turned into a rapier, and his trumpet became a mass of brass earrings and bracelets.
Then he remembered what he was forgetting: the Mirror! They needed the Beauty Mirror to free Sarah from the Null Void. Cha Cha hit himself for forgetting, and turned to Salvatore and Johnny, who had finally woken up.
"Time to go!" he said without explanation.

[Sartorius]

"Report to me once you've found something." Captain L commanded his crew as he himself searched through the island. "I remember coming here as a child...I never showed it to anyone because...There was some sort of spot where I hid my weapons. They didn't allow those in Awesome Land back then." Captain L reminisced.

Someone tapped Veralice on the shoulder, causing him to promptly spin around and yell "What! Don't interrupt me while I reminisce! It's rude!"

"Sorry, sir. It's just that we found some sort of shack close by. We think you should see it; there's a lot of stuff here." said the crew member, fearful and slightly annoyed with Veralice.

"Hmm? Shack. Fine...I'll be there in a moment." said Veralice, sitting down to reminisce some more before he approached the building.

[Xero]

(Blah blahboi br;kfdaiKvabhernei;akgfvlahkvkmakvlfahjkls...... Tyler and Robert need to post. I can't make them leave the Veral-Dimension, and I need to get them out before Veralice searches the shack!)

[Sartorius]

(Mmhmm. Consider this a real game, in which you have a certain time limit before the boss finds and attacks you. They had better hurry, because I could post at any second. But I'll wait for now.)

[Duke Nukem]

Narrator, feeling somewhat alone, went back to the Dimensional Tear that he created with his magaphone-enhanced screaming. He passed through into the Veral Dimension and closed the hole behind him using a convenient and extremely magical dimensional zipper at the botton of the tear.

Taenas, still unconscious and whatnot, was chilling while some chick fixed his gunshot wound.

"The hell..." Narrator said, quelling his itchy trigger finger for the moment.

[Xero]

"Sarah, I have to go," said Cha Cha. "Take care of Johnny until he's ready to return to Awesome Land." He said this because he noticed Johnny struggling to keep his balance in this empty void, still recovering from the warp through the portal. "Come on, Salvatore."
Cha Cha stepped through the portal, followed closely by Salvatore, who was now wearing heavy golden chains around his neck and wrists; baggy, torn pants; and carrying a scimitar and several daggers and a pistol.

The two of them landed with a light thud inside the shack. Cha Cha cracked the door open and saw Veralice getting to his feet, finally finished reminiscing. Cha Cha quickly sealed the portal temporarily so that Veralice couldn't find Johnny and Sarah. Then he opened a closet and found all kinds of clothes. He picked a red and white striped T-shirt and tore at with his bare hands and his teeth. He threw the shirt over his head and began pretending to be busy digging through armor and weapons as the door to the shack opened.

[Sartorius]

Captain L opened the door to the shack and noticed what seemed to be a pirate rummaging through the various objects there. "You there!" the captain addressed him. "Are you one of my crew?"

[Xero]

Cha Cha looked up and saw Captain L standing in the doorway.

"Aye, Cap'n!" he said in the best pirate voice he could muster. "I just be plunderin' this here shack of weapons fer yer army, sir!"

Salvatore caught on quickly and continued to turn the shack upside down, looking for weapons.

"Me name be Brass-eye."

[Mizagium]

Johnny finally awoke. Traveling to the Veral-Dimension was tough on anyone's mind the first time. Someone had awoken him, but he couldn't seem them.

"Johnny..." came the voice. He recognized it immediately.

"Sarah!" Johnny called. Sarah materialized in front of him and his excitement diminished somewhat. He remembered what Cha Cha said. Sarah had been trapped in the Veral Dimension, and was slowly fading into the Null-Void.

"It's...it's good to see you again." He fumbled. Sarah smiled. "How...how long have you been in this place?"

"Almost a year." Sarah replied painfully. I was almost completely consumed by the Null-Void, until your friend Cha Cha arrived. He pulled me back, and gave me this," She showed him the Soul Patch. "It will keep me from fading for a good while."

"How can we free you?"

"Cha Cha must have told you, you need the Beauty Mirror." Johnny lowered his head sheepishly. Yeah, Cha Cha had told him, but the shock of traveling so close to the Null-Void, drained his energy. "You must go now, Cha Cha and Salvatore need your help. Veralice's army has arrived on the island and are nearing the portal.

A pile of clothes appeared in front of him. They were pirates clothes. "Put these on so Veralice won't recognize you." Johnny did so. He went even further as to use some of the False Shield's power to change his face a little.

Sarah opened the portal, but moved it so he would materialize behind a large chest in the shack.

"I'll bring you back, Sarah, I promise." Sarah didn't reply except for a smile and a nod. Johnny crouched down and stepped through the portal to Awesome Land.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Johnny silently appeared behind a rather large chest to the right of Captain L. He galnce over it and, seeing what Salvatore was doing, copied him and began to fake-rummage for booty.

He heard "My name be Brass-Eye" and began think of a pirate name for himself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Time Keeper arrived at the dock. There were no boats left for him. He smirked. ~No matter~

He, utilizing Awesome Land's lack of physics, bent the fabric of Space-Time around him, essentially warping him to Veraland.

He followed the tracks Captain L's army made until he found them surrounding a shack...

(sorry about the long post, but I haven't been on in a while.)

[Xero]

Taking a step out of the Narrator Dimension momentarily, Derp-bot reappeared on Veraland. He was on the opposite side of the island from where Veralice and his men were, but, having been in the omnipresent Narrator Dimension, he knew that his companions were surrounded by the pirates. Derp-bot decided to help out his friends and made a distraction for the pirates by shooting off massive fireworks from his mouth. They exploded just off of the mainland and caused the dragons, soaring in the middle of Awesome Land, to screech in terror. The cry of the dragons was deafening, and forced the pirates to their knees, trying to drown out the ear-piercing screech by covering their ears.

Having set up a sufficient distraction, Derp-bot stepped back into the portal to the Narrator Dimension, the portal closing behind him.

[Mizagium]

"What the..." The Time Keeper looked up in the sky and saw Derp-bot's fireworks display. Puzzled, he stopped to watch. Seconds later a deafening roar filled the air and he fell to his knees and covered his ears.

That is, he TRIED to cover his ears, but his clock hands wouldn't reach.

Also, he didn't have any visible ears, so...yeah...

[Xero]

Cha Cha, hearing the explosion of the the fireworks, took his chance. He grabbed a shotgun from a rack on the wall and pushed Veralice out of the way, screaming, "It's a bomb! It's a bomb! We're all gonna die!"

Salvatore followed his lead and fled from the shack. They ran behind Veralice's ship and slipped aboard unnoticed.

[Duke Nukem]

Narrator traveled through the Veral Dimension for a while. He was still getting used to not existing on the plane of existence that made him so cool he was invincible. Don't get me wrong, Narrator's still incomprehensibly cool, he's just not invincibly cool anymore (although he still pisses excellence). Oh well, all good things must come to an end. Taenas is off doing his own thing...

Narrator came across Sarah in the empty void that is the Veral Dimension, if only by chance.

"What's up baby-cakes? Wanna fill me in on what the hell is going on?" Narrator said in his traditional swagger. "I think it's about time I had more than just a superficial role in this plotline."

[Xero]

Derp-bot appeared out of nowhere in the Veral Dimension right next to Narrator and explained everything. Unfortunately, he explained everything in a series of "Derp"s, and Narrator couldn't understand squat.

[Duke Nukem]

Narrator got tired of hearing the robot whose ass he kicked yell "derp" at him, and put his hand over its face. The derps stifled, Narrator turned to the female-type for an answer to his question.

"So how 'bout an explanation, Sweet Thang?" Narrator queried.

[Sartorius]

"That jerk will pay for putting me in here!" Taenas yelled from within the Sealed Dimension, a parallel void to Awesome Land where physics could not be defied. He was fully awake and noticed his gunshot wound had been patched. The girl who had fixed it disappeared into the rest of the army, so Taenas gave a thank you to everyone there.

Meanwhile on Veraland

"What the heck?" Captain L yelled in what would be confusion if he wasn't immune to such a state of mind. "Stupid zombie dragons...Usually remain calm...Everyone, we leave the island posthaste!" he commanded, teleporting everyone on the island onto his ship. "We shall discover the problem with my zombie dragons immediately!"

[Xero]

(Austin, apparently, the Sealed Dimension is now the Veral Dimension because Narrator is there..... it wasn't supposed to be connected the the Veral Dimension, but I guess it is now.....)

[Duke Nukem]

I made it that way...because Narrator was lonely.