Awesome Land!: An Interactive Story

[wolvy]

Oh Awesome Land, how you have...developed?

Now in our story along comes another character not nearly as powerful as Dante but related by being brothers, Salvatore. Now, Salvatore never really sought strength and power like Dante, nay, he only wanted to make sure he was never knocked around too badly. Sadly I digress.

You may be asking "Why! Dante/Donnala was/were powerful enough! Why does Dante's brother need to be here?"

Well, Laitia, Dante's and Salvatore's homeland, was destroyed, leaving both homeless and wandering. Dante met up with Donnala, and Salvatore just traveled, usually ending up wherever Dante was to catch up on each others lives, like siblings should.

Sadly, as Salvatore entered Awesome Land (laughing at his ignorant brother's mistake of a seal), he became hungry and only found a Taco Bell. Even worse, he had to eat there.

"Hi, um, can I have the Fajitaquero Xtremo de la Grande?" ordering the obviously not Spanish cuisine. His order went by quickly, the workers eager to finish their shifts. Salvatore had never really eaten fast food, so the torn plastic bag and disappointing real product were of utmost surprise to him. "Wow, this looks supremely disgusting," groaned Salvatore as he unwrapped his "meal". Pushing the Fajitaquero away, he soon reached for his next course; although normally he would have simply complained about the even more disgusting pile of "edible content" before his eyes, he could only stutter. Before his eyes were "Concentrated Fail. I thought we destroyed these long ago." The Taco glared at him, taunting Salvatore and his knowledge of Concentrated Fail.

"I don't care if it takes my life, but Taco Bell and its malevolent production of Concentrated Fail has to stop." Salvatore burst through the Taco Bell, thinking to himself "I need to find an ally, someone who also sees the evil of Concentrated Evil." Trying to think of whom Dante met, Salvatore could only think of one man crazy enough to help him.

"Amarillo Slim."

[Anthony G]

(Robert, I <3 your writing skills)

[Mizagium]

(Jimmy! Team up with Johnny!!!!!!)

"The True Sword? The last I saw of it it was -- IT IS NOW 1:00 PM!! -- ahem, It was with the princess, Sarah Mambutoo O'Malley. She took it too chase the thief of the Beauty Mirror." His arms continued to wind around his face, covering his eyes. "Oh crap, I can't see now."

[Sartorius]

"Here, I'll adjust those for you." Veralice said. He moved the hands so they were pointing to the 6, effectively making the time 6:30. "Hmm...Tell me more about this Beauty Mirror, please. Powers, qualities and attributes...things like that. Also, where was Sarah Mambutoo O'Malley seen last?" Veralice asked, intrigued by this information of Johnny's sister.

[wolvy]

(Thx Anthony)

Salvatore was spent, not being able to fly well and not having the energy to do so. He searched and searched, but good old Amarillo was out of sight.

"That blasted Slim, where are you?"

Salvatore continued to march forwards, seeking any sign of life.

[Mizagium]

(Robert, your character just becam sort of an enemy to Johnny since he is on Narrator's side.)

[Duke Nukem]

Narrtor the omnipresent was appalled.

"Taco Bell is my restaurant franchise. How DARE you refer to the food as conventrated fail. I'll have you know we use the finest E. Coli lettuce and tomatoes," Narrator said to nobody and everybody in particular.

Now, I know you're thinking that a clash between Narrator and Salvatore will inevitably destroy the very fabric of the universe, in a way similar to a Falcon Punch, but never fear. I have no doubt Awesome Land will find a way to save itself.

Narrator, still unwilling to do anything as of yet, sat in his manager's office at Taco Bell counting the obscene amount of money he was making off of the business venture...

[Mizagium]

Johnny plopped tot ground. He had scoured every inch of the collapsed towers. All 9002 floors worth of it. Still he found no clues about Sarah or the True Sword. He had no doubt in his mind that Veralice had the Beauty Mirror, bu the had no way of proving it. Otherwise he would gather the Really Cool Army and invade Awesome Land.

But without proof, the war would be unjustified and the people would turn against him. Johnny sighed.

In a burst of frustration he picked up a rock and threw it as hard as he could. Where the rock had been a large, leather-bound book sat. Johnny picked it up and read the cover. "Awesome Land Wikia".

~Hmm, what a incredibly convenient plot devise~ Johnny mused. He noticed several pages were Bookmarked. Johnny clicked (That's right, CLICKED! It's a digital book) on the first Bookmark.

"Cha Cha"

Johnny scrolled down.

"Excalibob"

"Hystoger"

"The Artifacts of Wisdom"

Johnny clicked on that Bookmark. The article described the functions of each of the Artifacts. But it did not list where they were.

~But Veralice didn't recognize the Ugly Stick or the False Shield~ Johnny realized, ~That means he didn't read this book~ This still was of no use to Johnny, but he packed the Wikia Book anyway.

Johnny rose and set off again. He walked for a time before coming upon a Taco Bell, the very one Narrator was currently residing at.

Johnny entered and cased the establishment. Not much better than McJimmy's. At least they have tacos. Johnny hated the belief that tacos were the essence of failure.

He ordered a Nacho Bell Grande, paid the man at the register, and took a table. He took out the Awesome Land Wikia and continued to examine its pages as he munched on his nachos.

[Mizagium]

The perverted fat guy who was on fire continued to run around Awesome Land. The citizens stared in shock and awe. Some covered their children's eyes.

Eventually the fire stopped buring. Don't get me wrong, he was STILL ON FIRE but he just didn't notice anymore.

All that running made him hungry. It just so happened that he had stopped running near a Taco Bell. Yes, the same one where Johnny and Narrator were.

He opened the door and squeezed inside. Everyone stopped to stare at him. Who wouldn't stare at a fat guy wearing fishnets, a tube top, and was on fire?

Several people vomitted.

[Sartorius]

"Former adviser to the Royal Family, how would you like to join forces with me? I could use someone like you, and I could help you exact vengeance upon Johnny and his family." Veralice asked. He felt that the two could make a deadly partnership, and was quite angry with Johnny himself.

[Mizagium]

"Of course I will join you! That's why I'm here! IT IS NOW 9:48 PM! Actually, I'm here because McPervert found me and put me on the wall. HE never left his office so I couldn't escape. When he did he locked the door. Say, what ever happened to that fat in the fishnets?"

[wolvy]

Salvatore felt a disturbance in his head, not able to pinpoint it with any accuracy. "Dante would, and probably teleport to the person..." Salvatore withdrew a stone from his pocket, clenching it tightly then slowly loosening. "I cannot summon Dante to fix all of my problems.." he mumbled.

Salvatore knew that this disturbance had something to do with...the Tacos. "These fools do not understand. Amarillo discovered that tacos are actually Concentrated Fail, meaning if too many are produced, they will destroy the very threads of existence."

He clenched his fists and prepared to fly. "I need to run into another character in this story and interact with them so I am not some random character in the scheme of things!" He burst at full speed along the ground, likely to run into anybody.

[Mizagium]

~Why did everybody stop talking?~ Johnny wondered. He looked up from the Awesome Land Wikia and spied the Fat Perverted Man in fishnets who was on fire. The nacho he was chewing fell out of his mouth.

He swallowed the vomit that had collected in his mouth and turned to teh Wikia once more. He typed in (Yes, TYPED IN. It's digital) "Fat Perverted Man" How he came to that phrase he did not know.

But I know, it was a plot devise.

(Wow, Awesome Land should be the Land of Plot Devices)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Fat Guy ignored everyone's stares ans vomitting. He waddled up the teenager a the register. The boy looked frightened.

"Hey there, young thang. What's good for munchies 'round here?" he asked, still on fire. (Get it? He's on fire. He has flames on him. He is...)

[Xero]

(The story's getting too confusing! We have too many things going on at once! Veralice is now at what was formerly McJimmy's talking with the Time Keeper; Narrator, Johnny, and the Perverted Fat Guy are at Taco Bell; Salvatore is nowhere in particular; and Dante is nowhere at all..... Can we please just get everyone in one place so we don't have multiple stories going on at once?)

(Also, Robert, I need you to have Salvatore stop somewhere. Preferably a dark forest near either Omnistar or Taco Bell. Either one will work. I have your "other character to interact with.")

[Xero]

(By the way, nice incorporation of the ALW, Tyler.)

[Mizagium]

(Thanks, but I like the multiple stories. There's reall only two Taco Bell, Omnistar, and then the Perverted Fat Guy. Remember ANYONE can make him do stuff.)

[Sartorius]

"Let's not speak of the fat person..." Veralice said to the Time Keeper. "Anyway, if I'm to help you get revenge, I have to do a little espionage. You stay here and guard Omnistar. I'll be spying at Taco Bell, the accursed conveyor of fake Hispanic food." With those words, Veralice transformed into his young, child like disguise wielding a short sword and wearing a hooded cloak, much like his adult form.

Veralice ran off to Taco Bell to do some spying on one of the many problems of his territory.

[Mizagium]

The Fat Guy received his food. He took it outside to east since he couldn't fit at any of the tables inside. He inhaled the spicy faux-Mexican food. The super spicyness caused the fire to start burning again ans he ran off into the distance.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Perverted Fat Guy" Johnny read the "article" on him.

He's a perverted fat guy that ignores plot ans time (much like Narrator). He is currently on fire.

~That's it?~

[Sartorius]

Veralice, in his younger child form, noticed the unhappy customers sitting at the various tables in Taco Bell. One in particular happened to be Johnny, whom Veralice's younger form hadn't seen since the beginning of this crazy adventure.

He approached the table where Johnny was sitting, sat down, and said "Hello, Johnny. Long time, no see!" in the best child voice he could speak in. It had improved since last time and was slightly more high pitched.

[Xero]

The Perverted Fat guy finally stopped burning right next to Lake Awesome. Knowing he was still on fire, and seeing some children in the lake, he decided to heat things up while extinguishing the fire. The Perverted Fat Guy cannonballed into the lake, sending ten foot waves throughout the entire 50ft-radius lake. The children screamed as drops of boiling water (the water immediately rose to boiling temperature when the fire hit it) fell on them. When the Perverted Fat Guy resurfaced, instead of appearing black and burnt, he appeared just fine.... except that the part of his body that was above water was still on fire. He approached a seven-year old kid (gender neutral for now; you decide what he/she/it is.... better yet, have it change every few posts) and said, "Hey, baby. I wanna know if you'll be my girl. You want some kandiez?" He held out his flaming hand holding some kandiez.
Ignoring the fact that the Perverted Fat Guy was still on fire, the kid took the kandiez from the ma's hand. The kandiez immediately turned to ashes when they lost contact with the Perverted Fat Guy's torch-hands, and the kid's hand burst into flames, soon engulfing the child's entire body above the water.


Nearby, in the dark woods next to Lake Awesome, a Mysterious Hooded Man watched from the shadows. Only his eyes could be seen from behind his hood. The Man observed the Perverted Fat Guy attempting to seduce the children, and he had struggle to not vomit at the sight. Regaining his composure, the Mysterious Hooded Man slipped into the darkness and disappeared.

[wolvy]

Salvatore finally rested in a Dark Forest, catching his breath. He felt peculiar, as though he was watching someone. Salvatore sat down but quickly scanned form left to right to find anyone, soon focusing on a dark silhouette. He wanted to demand the silhouette's information, but soon was able to make out a hood? staring in the direction of a lake/river? at the most hideous thing ever conceived by man.

Salvatore began to sneak into the bushes when he crawled over the twigs of Cliche bushes, making an obscenely loud noise.

[Mizagium]

The hooded child startled Johnny so much that, when it spoke to him, he spat several of the nachos we was currently munching on all over the child. The soggy nacho debris flew from his mouht for several minutes.

When he was finished, Johnny recognized the child form before. It was Veralice in disguise. Johnny hastily closed the Awesome Land Wikia and hid it under his cloak.

"Veralice!" Johnny started to draw the Ugly Stick form his cloak, but stopped, realizing he would be unable to make a scene here. If he did, the customers would think he was a child abuser.

"What are you doing here?" Johnny munched on a few more nachos, greedily pulling the plate from Veralice's reach.

[Xero]

The Mysterious Hooded Man whirled around at the sound of Cliche bush twigs snapping to see Salvatore sneaking up on him. He froze as the two men stared each other down. His hand slid slowly under his cloak and grasped something at his side as Salvatore approached him.

"Who are you, and what business do you have here?" he demanded, his eyes flashing dangerously.

[Mizagium]

(TIME FOR A PLOT TWIST)

The MALE child whom the Perverted Fat Guy had accidentally set on fire began to panic and run around screaming. First in the Lake, then onto the lake shore. In her panic he was unaware that the fire was ignoring all laws of physics by not being doused in the water, or by not burning her skin.

He stumbled into the forest where the two unseen figures were. Now the fire decided to obey physics and cayght several trees on fire.

(Did you see what I did there?)

[Sartorius]

"Now, Johnny, is that any way to greet someone?" Leon said in disgust. He actually removed his hooded robe which had been covered in nachos to reveal another, darker robe with a strange symbol on it.

"Hmm, I usually never show this robe. Whatever." Leon said childishly. "So, how's it going, Johnny? You haven't joined me yet, it seems." Leon said as if Johnny should have joined him ages ago.