Awesome Land!: An Interactive Story

[Mizagium]

Aug 27, 2008 19:17:53 GMT -5 Duke Nukem said:

Also, Hillary Clinton just ate a baby.

That's not anything new.

[Anthony G]

"hmmm.." thought McJimmy.

I will only give you my decision if you answer this riddle first!!

"You are in a room. The room has walls, a ceiling, and floor that are 300 feet thick of concrete. There are no doors or windows. There are no cracks or weak spots in the walls. All that is in the room are a mirror, a table, and yourself. How do you escape?"

[Sartorius]

"Let's see...I could give you the silly 5 year old answer and say:

You look into the mirror and see what you "saw".
You "saw" the table in half. Two halves make a "hole", and you escape through the "hole". said Veralice, growing impatient.

"Or I could use my magic and teleport out. I mean, seriously, if I can take you to an alternate dimension I could easily escape a silly concrete building."

[Anthony G]

"Oh my god you're too good." said McJimmy in amazement as that is the first time he ever heard someone guess it correctly the first time.

"I am a man who keeps his word. I have no choice but to decide upon your piles of temptations. McJimmy's has actually been a monopoly of a business. Being the only fast-food restaurant for millions of miles makes it nice. However, with your proposition, I won't have to worry about any more dumb employees that don't want to wear hamburger costumes. AKA VERALICE AGE 15:


So, I will agree and decide to take the money, car, and other nice things. Just be warned, the utterly perverted and fat man still resides in the My Little Pony secret entrance."

[Duke Nukem]

"The riddle proved to be nothing in comparison to Veralice's might. McJimmy was left with only one option: his decision. Or is he..." Narrator narrated.

[Sartorius]

"Well then. It's decided." Veralice replied with a bow, holding in his happiness. He held up a contract labeled "The Deed to McJimmy's" that had apparently been signed by McJimmy when he verbally handed over the business. "Now, you may take all of these items and we shall leave." Veralice said, summoning piles of money and a new car at McJimmy's feet. A portal opened back into the real world, A.K.A. Awesome Land.

Note to self-Kill fat perverted man at McJimmy's... Veralice thought, entering the portal and arriving at Awesome Land.

[Anthony G]

"Sweet I got mah sef a car!" said McJimmy.

"Where's Cha Cha I need to get my car fine tuned and he is the only one with a good tuner LOL".

[Duke Nukem]

"And lo, Veralice and McJimmy made their ways back to Awesome Land, among the rest of the heroes. McJimmy's now in Veralice's possession...no. Wait, this is stupid again. What the hell is going on here? A riddle? A friggin RIDDLE? The hell is this shit? Who sells their restaurant based on a friggin RIDDLE? Screw it, I'm starting my own fast food chain. Prepare for the zesty and delectible culinary stylings of TACO BELL???!??!" Narrator said, ranting in an epic fashion. He has a Latin temper.

Narrator mounted his ironing board and flew off to start his fast food chain. 3.14159 seconds later, he returned.

"Done. Taco Bell now has 8 franchises across Awesome Land, and a 6th being constructed inside a Wal-Mart as we speak," Narrator said with his characteristic disregard for the laws of time and space. "WATCHA GONNA DO? I'M INTERFERIN' WITH YO' STORY," Narrator said, taunting Veralice and his evil plan.

[Anthony G]

(No, McJimmy asked Veralice a riddle, and if Veralice got it right then McJimmy would decide upon Veralice's proposition. McJimmy gave up his restaurant for the free stuffs, not because Veralice answered the riddle correctly.)
(Also, how can a 6th Taco bell be in construction if there are already 8 in franchise?)

[Duke Nukem]

The 6th is in construction when there are 8 franchises because physics.

Whatever. Narrator calls 'em as he sees 'em, and HE JUST CALLED THA' SHIT.

Let the story continue.

[Sartorius]

"Fool...I obviously underestimated your resourcefulness, Narrator. I can not have such a plot hole in my domain." Veralice said, drawing Hystoger from its sheath.

"Although this is no doubt a futile attempt..." Veralice trailed off, entering a battle stance.

"Have at thee!" he finished, charging toward Narrator for interrupting his plan to conquer Awesome Land.

[Xero]

As Veralice attacked Narrator, Cha Cha got busy fine tuning McJimmy's car. But while he was tuning it, there was a deathly sound of two oboes playing A natural. And as we all know, the only way to make two oboes playing unison play in tune is to shoot one of them. So Cha Cha natural hurried to cover his ears because of his amazing perfect pitch. But in doing so, he dropped his tuner into the hood of the car, rebounding off of the many chains and belts. The tuner was flung from the engine and hit Cha Cha directly in the face. Cha Cha fell backwards, and with a gasp, he whispered, "May music charm me last in Awesome Land, and greet me first in trumpet heaven." With that, he shut his eyes and stopped moving. His cloak flashed three times, each time, his body dissolving a little more until he was gone.
On the bright side, McJimmy's car was fine tuned perfectly, and it now got 700vpg.

(Austin, that's the right letter, right? V instead of M for miles per gallon, Awesome Land style?)
(By the way, there's that extra plot twist I was telling you about, Austin.)

[Anthony G]

"Lol wat. I must finish Cha Cha's task."

*McJimmy pulls out a 9vv (instead of 9mm lolol) and shoots the oboe player that strangely resembled Alex Rudat.*

[Sartorius]

(Wow. Yeah, 'V' is the right letter. Only psychopaths and desperate mothers kill their own creations. Especially with tuners.)

[Xero]

(No! You can't kill Rudat. lol Kill the other guy: Mr. Stallings attempting the oboe saying the embrechure is exactly the same as a clarinet's.)
(Austin, I have one last trick up my sleeve... my last plot twist. Just wait. By the way, Derp-bot is having his own epic adventure as an automated cash register at McJimmy's, trying to fend off the old, fat pervert.)

[wolvy]

Having been fully aware of his surroundings, Dante soon learned about the others.

"Let's see, one guy is a narcissistic egomaniac that fuses every meme possible and tries to milk a joke out of everything, one is a perfect musician named after a texting answering site, one is looking for some True Sword while having a peculiar obsession to 'kandiez', a robot that is meme-tastic, plus Amarillo and Veralice." Dante thought over this group, and while Awesome Land was cool and all, he realized he had to leave forever to find Donnala. Although he did not want to destroy Awesome Land, he wanted to go out with a bang; however, as Dante quickly realized, he had to little energy to waste. He had to remember his purpose.

So with that final thought, he waved goodbye to the wacky bunch of zany characters and teleported to Maestro Tartaruga's house, sealing Awesome Land so no one could enter, escape, or train under the Guardians ever (even with Dragonballs).

-And so ends the tale of Dante Il Cacciatore o Girovago and his enemy Donnala. Sadly, it will almost be as if he never entered, only killing NeoRidley and landing in this strange place. Be creative and do not overuse memes/cheap laughs.

[Xero]

(Robert, Cha Cha is gone.)

[wolvy]

(I was gone before you were gone)

[Xero]

(I know, but you said that one of the characters was a perfect musician named after a texting answering service. He's gone now, so he's not one of the characters there for him to see anymore. And, by order of posts, Cha Cha disappeared before Dante woke up, so he doesn't exactly know who he is, since he didn't get a good look at him when he killed NeoRIDLEY. Just saying.... wait.)

Aug 27, 2008 22:20:09 GMT -5 wolvy said:

Having been fully aware of his surroundings, Dante soon learned about the others.

(How long was he "aware of his surroundings"?...... Well, anyway, Cha Cha's gone now, so there's no point in him mentioning him. I mean, you wouldn't say Veralice is the emperor of Awesome Land if he was dead. Unless he was a zombie emperor, but that's beside the point.)

[Mizagium]

"You FOOL!" Johnny yelled at McJimmy for handing over his deed to the Restaurant. "Veralics isn't really gonna make you rich or whatever he promised!"

(I didn't really read Veralice's offer, besides, Johnny was not in the same dimension as them.)

"Thank you," Johnny thanked Narrator, "You physics defying creation of 8 Taco Bells, with a 6th in construction will distract Veralice from my story."

[Sartorius]

(Don't worry, ERBODY IS IN THE SAME DIMENSINONON)

Veralice stopped in his tracks, his sword a few feet away from Narrator. He looked around and saw Johnny thanking the Narrator for some reason.

"Ah, Johnny. Would you like to join me now? I believe I made you that offer a while ago when you first came to my land." Veralice remarked, sheathing his sword.

[Mizagium]

(lol "erbody")

"That deal was only so I could get inside your castle, which we destroyed, sorry. Now that I know it was YOU who stole the Beauty Mirror, I refuse to have anything to do with you! I will side with Narrator." Johnny stepped closer to Narrator.

"Since you have the Mirror AND have corrupted it, I feel that you know where my sister and the True Sword are!" Johnny pointed at Veralice with the Ugly Stick.

[Sartorius]

"Now, do you honestly think that threatening me with that stick is going to help you, Johnny? If anything, you should give me the weapon. I could put it to good use...And besides, aside from the Taco Bells scattered here and there, I own Awesome Land. You can't stop me." Veralice laughed, taunting Johnny.

[Mizagium]

"Maybe not now, but once I find my sister and the True Sword, I will destroy you!" Johnny held up the False Shield and tried to think of a distraction so he could escape and become another form.

[Duke Nukem]

Narrator, fully aware of all spoken and non-spoken elements of the story, was indifferent to his surroundings, pondering a greater mystery. "Narcissistic egomaniac? The hell I am! What's a meme anyways?" Narrator said (way to insult my character premise, Robert. I'll be sure to do the same later).

"Oh right, narrating. Our heroes are caught at an impass, with Veralice faced with not one but two adversaries, McJimmy fixing a car with a tuner, and Cha Cha and Dante gone from the story. Derpbot and Amarilla Slim are temporarily out-of-comission. What will happen next? Oh wait, I know that. GET A LOAD OF THIS!!?!??!" Narrator narrated/epicly declared.

Suddenly everything stopped. Nobody moved, nobody spoke, except for Narrator. With his hands on his hips and in the captain's pose, Narrator laughed in an excessively manly way reminiscent of John Wayne.

"IT IS DONE. THE 6TH OF 8 TACO BELLS IS COMPLETE," Narrator declared in an echoey voice that shook the very foundations of Awesome Land. "LET'S ROCK!"

Everyone could move again, somewhat confused as to why they all stopped in the first place. Narrator, however, was busy with YET ANOTHER COSTUME CHANGE. He snapped his fingers, and suddenly he was DRESSED LIKE BILL COSBY. Wearing Levi-Strauss blue jeans, brown loafers, white socks, and a sweater to end all sweaters, Narrator was ready to kick some serious ass. Then, oblivious to every else, he held out his arms for his woodland friends. Several adorable bunnies, squirrels, gophers, birds, and deer appeared, as if from nowhere, all around him. They burst in to flame. Such is the might of Narrator.

"Your move, Veralice," Narrator declared, letting out another excessively manly laugh.