Awesome Land!: An Interactive Story

[Anthony G]

(haha that was epic)

[Mizagium]

(My (Johnny's) turn)

While RIDLEY charged toward Derpbot, Johnny stealthily (not reall) made his way to the scattered kandiez. He reached for the first piece but quickley drew his hand back as a blst of fire charred the delicious piece of kandie. "Hey!" Johnny yelled "You just burned MAH KANDIEZ!"

Before Johnny could threaten him with the Ugly Stick, RIDLEY crashed through the wall. He was followed by Cha Cha. He and the others watched their EPIC battle from the 9001st story of Veralice's tower. From this height, Cha Cha's Hyper Freeze C did not affect them.

RIDLEY flew up and away from Cha Cha and his annoyingly high-pitched trumpet. Johnny saw his opportunity. As RIDLEY flew up to the 9001st floor Johnny leaped onto his back, swinging the Ugly Stick.

[Sartorius]

How entertaining...I should do this more often. thought Veralice, staring at the conflict with glee. He looked at Johnny, who was atop RIDLEY, swinging the Ugly Stick.

"This won't end well...No, not well at all." Veralice muttered, who knew that RIDLEY would not fare well against the Ugly Stick.

As RIDLEY was repeatedly assaulted by the weapon, he crashed into the ground at the very bottom of the palace, creating a huge cloud of smoke around the area. When the smoke cleared, RIDLEY emerged completely different.

The Ugly Stick had an adverse effect on RIDLEY; he was now over 10 feet tall and his wings were a bright fusion of orange and gray. He had three different heads, each one able to breathe a different element (Fire, Ice, or Lazar). Not one of the heads had any ears, so RIDLEY now relied on sight and echo location to move around. His body was extremely large, yet appeared to be very skeletal. The New RIDLEY began his assault by firing lazars everywhere, obliterating the entire Imperial Palace to dust.

[Duke Nukem]

Narrator stood in the corner, doing absolutely nothing. He's cool like that.

[Mizagium]

Johnny was thrown to the ground near Cha Cha. He looked up at the New RIDLEY he had created. He watched as it spewed Fire Ice and Lazar into the palace. "That didn't go the way I had hoped."

He glanced over at Cha Cha who stared at him menacingly. Now that RIDLEY had no ears, his Hyper Freeze C was useless. "Woops." Johnny whispered.

[Duke Nukem]

Narrator went to the bathroom. He had to unload some bricks, if you know what I mean. He's cool like that.

[Anthony G]

after McJimmy had awaken from unconsciousness after both Cha Cha and RIDLEY landed on him, he said,

"It appears RIDLEY adapts to anything that could potentially hurt him and then gets stronger!! If you play him a song, he adapts and then gets lazars and ice beams. OH MY GOD"

[Mizagium]

(wow McJimmy os smrt)

[Anthony G]

(evidently, Cha Cha and RIDLEY landing on McJimmy after 9001 stories of acceleration can do more good than harm).

[Mizagium]

Johnny hear McJimmy's useful info. He watched as New RIDLEY circles around the tower, looking for the other warriors (and I use that term loosely). He held the Ugly Stick in his hand and tried to think of a way to beat RIDLEY.

"I got it!" Johnny yelled and quickly ran up the 9001 floors between him and Emperor Veralice.

[wolvy]

Near McJimmy's on a tranquil plot of land, a portal opened, allowing a mysterious figure to rocket out of the ground and into Awesome Land. The Figure landed gracefully and swiftly, quickly surveying his surroundings.

"Why would He choose such a strange place like this to base?" The Figure thought. He stood up and brushed the debris from his clothing. "No matter. That runt can't hide forever." He began to meander through this world, getting his feet back after days of floating through wormholes.

No creature seemed to give him trouble, except a little nuisance of a mammal. Able to keep itslef hidden by staying invisable, the feisty little Danger Panther (Leo peligroso, awesomelandius subspecies) leaped from the undergrowth to claim its walking dinner. Unfortunate for the panther, The Figure had detected it before it even smelled him, allowing The Figure to quickly evade our carnivorous fiend and vaporize him with a Livello 1 Potere Luce attack from his palm (think a blast of light with a huge radius but short range).

"Nice warm-up," thought The Figure, "but a little cruel. Here you go." His eyes glowed a strong green as The Figure snapped his fingers, bringing the panther back to existence. Being hungry after the attack and journey, The Figure gave the terrified panther the ability to talk, allowing The Figure to ask "Where is the closest restaurant around here?"

Not chancing death again, the Panther lost his color and bolted away, only to be grasped by The Figure's psychic range, trapped floating in the air from the unsuccessful leap.

"I won't kill you again, just tell me where I can get decent cooked food," demanded the now impatient Figure.

"Um...I-I-I d-don't know ab-bout decent, but there is a M-McJ-Jimmy's up ahead," spoke the quivering panther.

"Thank you. Now go away." The Figure released the trembling beast, eager to never see The Figure again. The cat didn't even turn invisible, just running as fast as his legs would take him.

"McJimmy's. That sounds familiar." The Figure pulled a Zagat's Guide to Inter-Dimensional Dining from within his jacket, and found McJimmy's rated as '...a trade-off: it may grant you personal freedom from Veralice, but such may be worth sacrificing if you have to eat here more than once.' The Figure groaned, but though it would do for now. "Besides. I'm not going to be here long anyways."

It was not before long that McJimmy's stood before him, a standard looking gimmick family restaurant. Walking past the hamburger costume, The Figure strolled in, surveying its myriad occupants (an old guy with his dog). Looking at the menu, The Figure soon found tree bark to seem far more appetizing, but then again, The Figure was never a big fan of fast-food anyways. He went through the excessive rope walkway to the cash registers, awaiting any service. Realizing no one except the man and his dog were here, he strolled up to the owner's office, seeking an explanation for the staffing or lack thereof.

As The Figure peeked through the door, he was soon horrified by the sight of a most disgusting man in the most putrid attire ever conceived for such man in front of desk with a My Little Pony. "I thought this was a family restaurant," pondered The Figure, who soon teleported outside to investigate an energy that just surged in power.

"What do we have here?" thought The Figure, investigating the power's source. "Three guys of modest power, a robot, a now super-powerful thing, and none other than Mr. Veralice. I hope he knows our little friend is here." He began to scan this area, recalling all of the events that had transpired. "How cute. Veralice has a band of ragtag fighters. And RIDLEY, how could I forget about you? You've gotten much bigger since the last time I saw you, but that poor fellow's weapon has made you far too strong for those others, probably to Veralice's delight. That little wizard has to learn to play fair." The Figure began to stretch a little, soon concentrating his energy for his next attack. "Energia Concentrato Essezionale!"

An intense beam of energy raced across Awesome Land, homing in on its target. "That should do it. Now for some food." The Figure strolled back into McJimmy's, noticing that the Old Man has some food. "Would you mind if I took some fries? I'm famished."

Despite the smoke from The Figure's teleportation and the tremendous flash, sound, and heat from the Energia Concentrato Eccezionale, the old man sat happy as can be, focusing on only his cute puppy eating a sandwich. The Figure took the old man by surprise, but in the jolly way of old people too senile to care. His completely oblivious manner plus the Figure's ragged clothing made handing over the fries seem like just another generous deed of elderly.

"Grazie. Much appreciated." As The Figure wolfed the fries on his way out, he was stopped by the old man's soft voice.

"Sir, who are you? I know a lovely lady that runs the most lovely Soup Kitchen in all of our most lovely Awesome Lovely Land," inquired the lovely old man.

"Friends call me Il Giravago. Enemies Il Cacciatore. Call me however you see fit. Good day."

"O, why good-bye, Mister Giravigo!" exclaimed the old man, waving his puppy's arm along wiht his own in such a corny fashion that only Mrs. Wagner could replicate.

"Peace, dear sir." With that Il Cacciatore walked towards the other area of strong energy, hoping to find his amico.

[Anthony G]

(heck yes, Il Cacciatore bad ass #4 [Along with Cha Cha, Narrator, and Amarillo Slim])

[wolvy]

(Meanwhile at Veralice's place)

The heroes all pondered about how to defeat NeoRIDLEY, when out of nowhere, a huge laser struck the beast with such power that wherever it hit, NeoRIDLEY was vaporized. Only the heads, wings, tail, limbs, and very little body remained, missing a huge clean circular chunk.

Only Veralice knew what caused the deus ex machina. "Il Cacciatore..." Leon pondered. He stared down at the remains of NeoRIDLEY and chuckled. "You did good, but your brethren will make even that traveling nuisance break a sweat. Now, who will open up the second act of the fun?"

[Xero]

Cha Cha began to glow again, and, in a burst of light, Cha Cha returned to his human form with his face shrouded in the darkness of his hood and a Bach Stradivarius trumpet in his left hand. He put his trumpet to his face and played an unbelievably low note. The shock waves of the note sent Veralice flying backward before he could unleash another foe.
At the same time, Derp-bot finally regained "consciousness" and hovered above the ground using his jet pack. He looked down on the warriors and the remains of RIDLEY and shot a final blast of electricity from his moustache at RIDLEY. But the remains of the great dragon disappeared into thin air before the blast made contact. Derp-bot and the others stared in amazement at the spot where his lazar had hit.
Cha Cha kicked at the ashes from RIDLEY's flames and rubbed some between his fingers, observing it deeply. He removed his mouthpiece from his trumpet and made a whistling sound by blowing into it. The ashes levitated in his hand. What could it mean?

[Mizagium]

Johnny arrived at Veralice's perch where he watched all of the fighting. On the way up, Johny had seen NeoRIDLEY get toasted by a mysterious energy. He knew it not to be Veralice's

"Veralice!" Johnny called. Veralice looked at him absently. Johnny waved the Ugly Stick at him. No one else was around so Johnny cast aside the dumb ass facade he had put up.

"Where is my sister?" Johnny asked angrily.

[EagleXC13]

Amarillo didn't know what to think when he saw NeoRIDLEY explode. The amount of power it had taken to create a Lazar of such capacity could only be achieved by one person that he knew of, and that person was supposed to be trapped in the Naked Dimension because of his crimes against the universe.

Amarillo knew that the return of The Figure would spell destruction of them all if desperate measures weren't taken immediately.

He jumped back down a level to talk with Johnny, who seemed to be the only one in the room. Johnny immediately brandished his UGLY stick and screamed, "I WANT MAH KANDIEZ!!!!!11!!!one!!!1!!" at Amarillo.

"It won't work on me. Your not that stupid." replied Amarillo.

Johnny lowered his Ugly Stick and said, "FIne."

Amarillo explained to Johnny what the giant lazar was and why it was so powerful. "In order to reduce the threat of The Figure, we must work together. If we all try to take him on individually, we will fail."

[wolvy]

(Note, do not add anything to Il Cacciatore's history. Jimmy threw me a curveball, which is not much of a problem as the Naked Dimension thing works in my planned backstory, but knowing him was not. Only Amarilllo and Veralice know who I am, no one else. If your character is from a different dimension, maybe, but PM me first. I will explain the backstory soon. Austin, you have the right to make up whatever connection Veralice and Il Cacciatore have, but PM me first. I will not be staying afterschool tomorrow so I hope not to delay this story for too long. You can continue it no problem, but do not mention Il Cacciatore with much knowledge until I post)

[Xero]

(Robert, everyone's throwing curveballs for everyone. That's the whole point of this being an interactive story: anything can happen. I won't say very much about Il Cacciatore, but you can't expect everything to go exactly according to plan.)

[Mizagium]

(BTW, Johnny is from the Kingdom of Really Cool)

"Who is the Figure?" Johnny asked Amarillo, then turned to Veralice who he had almost forgotten about, threatening him with the Ugly Stick.

"It seems you're not who you say you are," Veralice mused. "Since you have not been honest with me, I see no reason to be honest with you." He smirked.

"Fine," Johnny spat. He help out his left arm (the one not holding the Ugly Stick). A shield materialized on it. Veralice and Amarillo watched him, puzzled. At once the image of the blond-haired, blued-eyed, dumb-as-shit ex-male-model vanished.

In its place stood a silver-haired youth draped in black garb. A robe hung around his body bearing a curious emblem on the back of it. His eyes became blue and serious.

"The False Shield," He informed them. "My name Is Johnny. Johnny of the Mambutoo o"Malley's, sovereign familiy of the Kingdom of Really Cool. I came here to recover what was taken."

[wolvy]

(I understand...throw whatever you see fit)

Il Cacciatore was strolling peacefully through fields not so distant from Veralice's tower, when suddenly four words entered his mind and shattered his tranquil walk: Naked Dimension, Amarillo Slim.

"That dirty rat," thought Il Cacciatore. "Funny to find you with Veralice and our amico. If it weren't for you, I'd be 10,000 years younger." He stopped, recalling how he spent his 10,000 years in the Naked Dimension. The memory made him laugh. "Actually, Amarillo, I owe you a thank you. If it weren't for the special time of that place, I'd probably be a puny rat like you." He laughed some more, soon silent as the bushes beside him rustled.

"10,000 years, eh?" creaked a voice of ancient years but familiarity, lacking the kindness of the guise. "You look only 'bout 10 to 20 years older since the last time we met, Dante." Before him stood the old man from the restaurant, but now with sunglasses and his true physique, older than the hills but buffer than Chuck Norris.

Il Cacciatore clenched a fist and screamed "Donnala, you treacherous scum."

"Don't get so feisty now, Dante, we've just been reunited. Sorry I had to sick Amarillo on you, but you were getting too powerful and hard to control. I just wish we could have been friends. O well." Donnala sighed sarcastically, as if sorry for his actions. "Anyways, you should be thanking me, you ungrateful brat. I was the one who ordered you be sent to the Naked Dimension, and you are the only one to survive, so, congratulations! I thought after 100 years of listening to the Jonas Brothers while trying to beat a different tempo DDR song at 3600 times the speed would have made you commit suicide like everyone else that had to endure that hell of a prison, but you survived!" He cackled apathetically, stroking his demonic hound.

"You should have sent me to the Swim Attire Dimension, where time is not compressed 10,000 times normal. No matter, 10,000 years of training makes me amongst the strongest in the galaxy. I would have been free if I weren't so conveniently enlisted in the Universal Bounty Hunters. I earned my nickname, Il Cacciatore*, for a reason. Now, time to die!" Dante sprung into a fighting pose when Donnala screamed...

"Wait! We have things to discuss. Besides, do you think you can fight me? Even though I was banished eternally and you were sentenced to 10,000 years in the ND, I got the COWRUP I used you for in my clasp! Hehehe!"

"The Cliche-a-rific Object With Ridiculously Unlimited Power..." thought Dante. "He did get it. That was supposed to be mine...that was the deal...I eliminated the Sovereign Guard so I could get the COWRUP while Donnala got the COWRUM [money not power]..."

"Too bad! I only used you! And don't think so loudly. I can hear you like my own voice!" cackled Donnala. "Don't feel so bad, I had to be banished (by Amarillo, how ironic) and hid here because the Sovereign Lords apparently really like their Guard, and do not like Awesome Land. Do you know how boring this place is? I can barely train without destroying the planet."

"Boo-hoo. What happened to Latia?" interrogated Dante.

"Latie? Latia! O, they destroyed it so you couldn't go home and build an army when you were released. Sorry"

"What!" Dante could not control himself and leapt towards Veralice's tower, only to be stopped by Donnala.

"Hold on! I have a plan to discuss with you, as sadly, we are both in the same boat with the Sovereigns...screwed. What do you say?"

Dante could have smashed the old freak's face in and kept going but decided to wait. Besides, who knows how much power the COWRUP added. Both of them landed by a fruit tree to discuss plans over a nice lunch.

*Il Cacciatore means The Hunter in Italian.

[Sartorius]

(After reading all of the posts on the previous page(8), I feel that Robert has a point. Some people like the randomness that characters like Derp Bot and McJimmy offer, while others prefer the more serious style of Amarillo Slim and Il Cacciatore. To make a compromise suiting everyone, I state the following.

As owner, sole proprietor, and Chief Executive Officer of Awesome Land!^TM I decree that all members of Awesome Land!^TM are to control their character and their character only. Period. End of discussion. You are not to add backstory, information, dialogue, et cetera about another character without the owner's consent. Fair enough? Good. I shall make a post relating to the story momentarily.)

[Mizagium]

(Fair enough. It's just hard sometimes because you want a character to ask a specififc question or say a certian thing.

[Sartorius]

(I understand. But I've been thinking of this for a while now, and I think that my decision was the best one to take. Plus, if you want a certain character to say something, just give an OOC post politely asking the owner of the character to say what you desire. Now, I'm giving you all the chance to delete any posts you may want to delete due to the new rule before we continue with the story. This ensures that no one causes a time paradox in Awesome Land.)

[Xero]

(Wouldn't deleting posts just make it harder to continue with the story? You'd have to reread the entire story to see what's changed and then adapt to that. Seems too time consuming.)

[wolvy]

Aye aye. I think the main thing is asking the other person first for backstories and whatever, but some scenes may be difficult to do only controlling one character; however, the other control should be incredibly minimal. Il Cacciatore only knows Veralice because Veralice is so notorious, he is known interdimensionally.