Awesome Land!: An Interactive Story

[Xero]

Back in the throne room.....

The doors slammed open seconds after Cha Cha and his friends had left. A man and what appeared to be Bigfoot were thrown to the floor at the Queen's feet. Mark and his squad had finally apprehended the thieves and had struggled to bring them back to the throne room.

"Thank you," the Queen wheezed. "Now, your friends are in - " At that moment, Rowlek and his squad burst into the throne room. Seeing the two thieves on the floor, Rowlek winced at the knowledge that he had not been able to capture the thieves, but then he smiled at Mark and gave him a congratulatory pat on the back.

"Thank you for joining us, Rowlek," said the Queen. "As I was saying, Xero just left with Johnny and his companions. They'll be taking one of the ships from the navy. Garage #2. Join them. They'll need all the help they can get."

"Yes, Your Highness," said Rowlek. He bowed low, considerably lower than the other guards. It was obvious that he was upset that he hadn't caught the guards and was making a feeble attempt to impress the Queen to make up for his failure. They left the throne room and the door creaked shut behind them.

[Sartorius]

"I refuse to be left here. But I've no way to arrive to the surface." Veralice said to himself sadly. His sadness quickly turned into anger, which seemed to call a certain object to him.

"I will escape this wretched place!" Veralice yelled. The queen looked at him in shock as he said this. Without warning the queen's guards surrounded Veralice and prepared to attack, causing a huge commotion. Suddenly Hystoger burst through the wall of the queen's quarters, landing in Veralice's hand. "Hmm...Interesting. The blade seems to like chaos. Although I should have guessed that. Now I just have to escape." Veralice said to himself. He remembered he still had Salvatore's pendant.

"I wonder if this thing can help." Veralice said. Sure enough, the pendant began to glow and Dante appeared in the room. Veralice's touch seemed to corrupt the pendant, placing Dante under his control.

"Ah, you there! Can you get me out of here?" Veralice asked politely, not wanting to ruin his only chance of escape. Dante responded by transforming into a marlin. Able to swim forever, Dante grabbed Veralice and swam at a ridiculous speed to the surface.
_________________________________________________-

When the two Dragon Riders failed to come back, the Emperor of Awesome Land grew worried. "Taenas. The soldiers have yet to arrive. I can only think that they have been killed. We go there at once." Walter commanded. He brought a crimson black dragon for Taenas to ride as he himself mounted the Dimension Dragon, Dimen. They both flew off toward the Clock Tower to discover the problem.

[Xero]

"Soldiers!" bellowed the Queen. "Prepare for battle! General Arlen, assemble the army! Commodore Estdyn, prepare the navy! We go to war!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Phantom grounded his boat on the shore of Awesome Land and dragged it up into the brush. He looked up at the pulsing sound of Dimen's and Taenas' dragon's wings beating the air mercilessly. Phantom ran through the woods, crashing through the twigs and branches in his way. He emerged in front of Walter's castle.

"People of Awesome Land! Hear me!" he shouted. Anyone within earshot looked at him. "Are you tired of all the madness going on here in Awesome Land?" The people roared in agreement. "Then join me! I can promise you freedom. No more tyranny from Veralice, Walter, Taenas, or the Time Keeper!" The people cheered as he called out these names, but spoke in hushed voices amongst themselves at the mentioning of the Time Keeper. Nobody had ever heard of him, and they were oblivious to the fact that he had recreated Veralice's tower of 9002 floors mere minutes before. "Join me!" Phantom shouted, vying for their attention. "All I ask is that you fight with me and my men to end the tyranny that has ruled Awesome Land for so many years. We march against Veralice! We march against Walter and Taenas! We march against the Time Keeper! We march against tyranny!"

The people roared in enthusiasm to end the tyranny. Some of the soldiers rather liked Walter and his rule, but they were immediately beaten by Phantom's newly obtained followers.

~Perfect~ thought Phantom. Now he had gained the support of the people of Awesome Land. Cha Cha was on his way with the Artifacts of Wisdom. Now he just had to reach the Clock Tower. And the Vanity Mirror.

"You, there!" he called to a rather vigorous young man of about twenty. "What's your name?"

"I'm Ilroy, sir," he said.

"Great! You're hereby promoted to Commander! Take fifty men with you and go to the Clock Tower, where Veralice's tower used to be. Find a Mirror. It should look black with Corruption. It is the Vanity Mirror. Don't look into it, but take it from the castle and bring it to me."

"Yes, sir!" Ilroy said eagerly. "Men! Move out!"

"HUT!!" shouted about a hundredth of the army. They marched off in the direction Walter and Taenas had flown minutes before, with Ilroy in the lead.

[Xero]

Satisfied with his work, Phantom hurried back to the dock. When he arrived, he found that Xero and Cha Cha had already resurfaced with their friends in one of the Special Royal Navy ships. The ship was docked on the shore of Awesome Land. Phantom climbed aboard and was shocked at what he saw and heard. The ship was packed with pirates and Royal members of Special Royal Navy. They had managed to turn Veralice's Imperial Army to their cause before they left. They had freed the pirates in return for their services to end tyranny in Awesome Land. Phantom shoved his way through the crowded deck and managed to reach the wheel where Xero was standing. Cha Cha was in the Captain's quarters with Salvatore, discussing their course of action.

Moments later, the water all around the ship began to bubble. Massive waves rose up all around them. Then giant flags began to appear. The flags bore the image of an S in the center of a purple dome. The Special Royal Military had arrived.

[Mizagium]

Johnny was now mostly recovered from the shock of having his sister ripped from her existence. What could have happened to her? The Veral Dimension seemed to have just...vanished.

He watched as Phantom rallied the citizens of Awesome Land against the Three Kings. Though right now it was only two, as Veralice had yet to return. He was impressed.

But them would not succeed. Time Keeper had Space-Time altering abilities and Walter and Taenas had dragons, as well as a citizen army. Veralice, on the other hand, had a army, and dark powers.

Johnny puzzled over this fact for few minutes before deciding that the Time Keeper was the greatest threat. During Phantom's rally, Johnny slipped away and tapped into the False Shield's powers. He left the Ugly Stick at Xero's feet with a note

Protect this, I will return.
Johnny

[Mizagium]

From atop the Clock Tower, the Time Keeper could see Phantom's army mobilize. He smiled deviously.

OMEGA RIDLEY rawr'd, but Time Keeper called him back. He wanted to save his beast for last.

He commanded a faction of his army to mobilize against Phantom. It mattered not how many troops he lost, as long as he had the Vanity Mirror...

[Duke Nukem]

Narrator surfaced at the shore of Awesome Land next to the Special Navy's ship in a mini-sub. He emerged from the vessel dressed like Captain Crunch.

"The sub was in my pocket," Narrator explained. "Now, I think I'll go after that emo kid and Wailmer. I don't like it when people I shoot live."

Narrator did backflips towards towards the Dark Hole Headquarters alone, prepared to fight whatever he found there.

[Duke Nukem]

Arriving at the Dark Hole Headquaters throne room in 3.14159 minutes, Narrator hadn't even broken a sweat. He was now dressed like Captain Falcon. YOUR MIND JUST GOT BLOWN...AGAIN.

Narrator, ignoring the fact that his costume change didn't match the theme, whipped his Rambo shotgun out of his pocket. Since it wasn't cocked, he did so by swinging it around and hitting both Taenas and Walter in the process, effectively serving as a bitch slap. He then proceeded to shoot the guard to the left of the two rulers. Narrator cocked his shotgun again in the same fashion as before and shot the guard to their right. He cocked the gun one more time, only this time he hit the two guards behind him through the wall and out of the Dark Hole Headquarters. Narrator, Walter, and Taenas were the only three people left in the room (assuming Austin will throw some dragons into the mix). The whole process had taken 3.14159 seconds. Narrator is fast.

"So, emo kid and Wailmer-guy I've never met, did you miss me?" Narrator taunted. "I heard you're the new tyrants in town."

[Justice Bringer]

when suddenly

Motevator666 stepped out of the dimensional portal to Awesome Land. He felt like taking it over. he pulled CoCo out of her case and Looked at everyone

"wow nice place you have here" said Motevator666 "i belive its mine now"

motevator666 begun making a speech on why it is his and why they all should follow his commands.

[Sartorius]

An alarm sounded in the Dark Hole tower as someone entered without the emperor's knowing. He and Taenas immediately warped back to the room just in time to get hit by Captain Rambo Falcon Narrator's gunz and to hear what the man had to say.

"Wtf? Captain Falcon?" Taenas asked. Walter looked at Taenas questioningly and decided to ignore the outburst.

"Yes, we are, were, or are in the process of becoming the new rulers of Awesome Land. We've still got a threat in that tower over there." Walter said, bringing the telescope closer to Narrator, even though his omniscience allowed him to observe everything that was going on without the need of mere tools.

"We also have the problem of Veralice returning. That's going to cause a lot of confusion...Well...Mister..." the emperor said, unaware of Narrator's name.

"He's Narrator." Taenas said. "He's one of the good guys. I think."

"Well then, Mr. Narrator. How would you like to kill the man in that tower over there? He's the really bad guy. He made a tower appear out of nowhere and has crazy powers, much like everyone else in the land." Walter said.

[Sartorius]

Veralice and Dante were now at the surface of the water separating Awesome Land and Special Land. He noticed his former tower had been reformed. His emperor sense told him that something was terribly amiss. Thunder crashed and lightning struck. No one seemed to notice he was there. He walked up to the mainland to observe the epicness before him.

He tapped a young generic citizen on the soldier and asked "What's going on?"

"Oh, hello Mr. Veralice." said the citizen, staring happily at all the chaos that had been caused.

"Do you not mean 'Emperor'?" asked Veralice, unaware that he had been replaced three times.

"Not quite." said the man, stepping a few feet away before Veralice exploded at the following news. "While you away on a business trip or something, a man named Walter took over the DH HQ, and since your army was all with you on the business trip no one resisted as he became emperor." came the shocking report to Veralice.

"Wow...That traitor. Betrayal is much too commonplace in Awesome Land..." Veralice said wearily, not even desiring to kill the man for his report.

"That's not it. You see that tower over there?" the man asked, pointing to Veralice's old tower. Veralice merely nodded. "Until a few minutes ago, that was completely destroyed. It just sprung out of the ground. Some other guy declared the entire land his empire from within the tower and brought back that dragon from the fourth page or something." said the man breathlessly.

"Mmhmm...Anything else?" Veralice asked.

"Yes. That man over there-" the citizen pointed to Phantom. "Has recruited a large amount of your former loyal soldiers to fight for his cause. And that guy-" he pointed to Motevator666 "Is trying to take over with some motivational speech."

"What about you? Where do you stand in all of this?" Veralice asked.

"I am quite ambivalent. None of the rulers seem all that nice. The old guy-" the citizen again pointed to Phantom "Seems alright, but everyone else is pure evil. Ten times worse than you were."

The news deeply upset Veralice, but he kept his composure. "Very well, then. Thank you. Take this for your troubles." said the dethroned emperor. He handed the man a jar of silver coins he had smuggled from Veraland and walked to the Clock Tower, deeming it the biggest problem.

[Mizagium]

The Time Keeper saw Veralice emerge from the water and begin moving towards his tower. OMEGA RIDLEY rawr'd loudly in disgust at his former master.

The Time Keeper ordered another platoon of soldiers to mobilize towards Veralice and this mysterious figure that was with him.

He realized he had no weapon so he conjured a staff adorned with an hour glass on top. He smiled... yeah, that's wassup.

He looked out another window and was Motevator666 apear out of another dimensional portal.

"WTF is with everyone trying to take over this land? I'm more powerful than anyone else!" Irritated he sent yet ANOTHER platoon of...wait for it... SPARTANS! Yes, SPARTANS! He sent them towards Motevator666. The Halo SPARTANS, not the 300 SPARTANS.

[Mizagium]

THUS DID BEGIN THE WAR OF FIVE ARMIES!
1. Veralice
2. Phantom
3. The Time Keeper
4. Walter & Taenas
5. Motevator666

(I borrowed that from The Hobbit...)

[Duke Nukem]

"Nah, I'm here to shoot this guy again," Narrator said, motioning to Taenas. "This emo kid here shouldn't have gotten up after I shot him the first time, and you shouldn't have helped, Wailmer. Prepare for an EPIC PHYSICS-DEFYING BATTLE OF CREATIVITY AND EPICNESSNESS."

Narrator slammed the butt of his shotgun on the ground, causing it to crumble. Narrator, Taenas, and Walter all fell through the air in a fight scene remniscent of the Sephiroth vs. Cloud battle in Advent Children. THE BATTLE OF CREATIVITY BEGINS NIGH.

IT IS YOUR MOVE, AUSTIN.

[Sartorius]

Former Emperor Veralice noticed a platoon soulja boyz coming for him. "So this is what my land has come to." he remarked. He was no longer the emperor and had thus lost a lot of his self esteem and a miniscule portion of his power, but he knew he had to fight.

"You. What was your name again?" Veralice asked to Dante.

"I'm Dante, and I'm only supposed to be summoned by Salvatore. I have my own things to fight for, you know." said the man angrily.

"You realize that Salvatore could die if we don't end this war, right?" Veralice asked.

"Hmm...If he's in danger, then I've no choice but to help anyone who isn't against him. Shall we fight then?" Dante asked, drawing a silver blade.

Veralice merely nodded and the two approached the group of souljas.

[Duke Nukem]

AUSTIN BRING THA' SHIT

[Sartorius]

"I help those in need of assistance, Narrator. We shall battle you if we must." said the emperor. Out of nowhere a bunch of angels began chanting.

"Estuans Interius
Ira Vehementi
Estuans Interius
Ira Vehementi
SEPHIROTH!"

While falling through the sky, Taenas' blade, Sindios, morphed into a gun of pure darkness. Using his new weapon, Taenas fired bolts of darkness at Narrator. The emperor watched as he too fell.

[Mizagium]

(Okay I'll roll with Soulja Boys.)

The Time Keeper was becoming increasingly annoyed with these factions appearing out of no where. He was on the highest ground! He wins by Star Wars rules! HE IS 9002 STORIES ABOVE THE GROUND!

Oh, well...

He reached through time again and brought the two greatest bounty hunters in the universe to him. No, wait three. Boba Fett, Jango Fett, and Trace (Metroid Prime Hunters.)

[Duke Nukem]

Narrator shot the darkness with his shotgun. Little did Wailmer know, Narrators guns shoot pure LAWLASAURUS. Narrator, being SSB64 Captain Falcon, used a FALCON PUNCH to recover. He was now right behind Taenas.

"Suck on this, emo!" Narrator yelled as he kicked him in the back of the head. Taenas hit a rock, crumbling it into dust.

[Sartorius]

"Impressive, Narrator. I'm afraid I can't let you continue this, however." Taenas said, rising from the ground. Using the magic of Sindios, Taenas yelled "FAST FORWARD!" A beam of anti epic his Narrator as he became SSBB Captain Falcon and was now bottom tier and virtually useless.

Taenas fired more beams of darkness in rapid succession toward Narrator's new form.

Emperor Walter kept watching, intrigued by the two fighters.

[Duke Nukem]

Narrator did not comply with physics.

"FALCON GRAB 'N' SPLODE!??!!!?" Narrator yelled in a Captain Falcon voice.

Narrator magically showed up behind Taenas, grabbed him in a full body grab, promptly sploded him, then humped him into Walter in a true Falcon fashion.

"SHOW ME YOUR MOVES!??!?!?!?" Captain Narrator yelled.

[Sartorius]

"This Narrator character is quite the fighter, Taenas. This is the man that Veralice sent you into the Sealed Dimension to defeat?" asked the emperor.

"Yes. His physics defying make him too powerful. But we have to try anyway...Why are we fighting anyway? There's greater evils to be taken care of!" Taenas yelled. He and Walter did the EPIC CHEAP MOVE OF JUSTICE. Walter used an uppercut to knock Narrator into the air, where Taenas proceeded to use FINAL REVENGER.

[Duke Nukem]

...only to find that Narrator is UNABLE TO BE BUTTSECKSED. Fat Man found that out the hard way.

"Weren't you guys paying attention when Fat Man tried to do this?" Narrator asked, somewhat annoyed. "Anyways, I'm not a little boy and you're not my grandpa. BACK OFF!!??!"

Narrator used his super-awesome powerz to go through YET ANOTHER COSTUME CHANGE!!??!??! Instead of describing it in detail, I'll just go ahead and tell you that he's Gordon Freeman. Get ready for rape.

Narrator whacked Taenas on the head with a crowbar, sending him back into Walter.

"What do you mean great evil? Wailmer, you and Emo McSadsad over there are tyrants now too. Pay attention!" Narrator said with great annoyance.

They're all still falling, by the way.

[Sartorius]

"That man in the tower over there is WAY more dangerous than we are, Narrator." the Emperor said. "Not to mention we haven't even done anything yet."

"Enough of this! Narrator, if you won't respond to words then perhaps this will affect you!" Taenas said. He kicked Walter straight into Narrator after recovering from the crowbar injury. While the two were flying upwards Taenas fired a beam of pure concentrated dark energy at both of them, much like the battle of Piccolo VS Raditz.

[Duke Nukem]

Narrator sensed that this was the time to throw all the physics and logic out the window.

"IMA FIRIN' MAH LAZAR!!!?!?!!??!" Narrator cried.

And lo, the woop was shooped, as was only inevitable in a story this ridiculous and awesome. The beams cancelled each other out, much like the battle between Goku and Nappa.

I WENT THERE. I WATCHED DBZ TOO, MO-FO.