Awesome Land!: An Interactive Story

[Mizagium]

~What's that in DERPBOT's turban? Wait, why is it wearing a turban?~ Johnny thought.

[Sartorius]

DERPBOT stopped outside of Taco Bell, awaiting further commands from Veralice. The emperor, who had been on DERPBOT's back, decided to climb up onto DERPBOT's head to get a better view of things. That is where he saw a mysterious hooded man. "You there! Mysterious Hooded Man!" Veralice said, disregarding the fact that he himself always wore a hooded robe. "What are you doing atop my robot!" he demanded. "Oh, and DERPBOT, prepare your attack." Veralice added. DERPBOT began to charge the laser in his laser hand to demolish Taco Bell once and for all.

[Mizagium]

Johnny saw DERPBOT charginn its lazah, and smiled. He armed himelf with the False Shield and Ugly stick and began to climb up DERPBOT to meet Veralice.

[Xero]

The Mysterious Hooded Man threw back his hood, revealing.... yet another hood! He ripped his outer cloak off to reveal another black cloak, but this one with a silver trumpet on the back!
"I've returned to destroy you, Veralice!" Cha Cha declared in pure awesomeness. He leapt backwards off of DERPBOT's head and landed on the robot's arm. Cha Cha pulled a glowing Sword from under his cloak and stabbed DERPBOT in his lazar hand. He pulled the Sword from the mechanism and backflipped onto the ground, just as the hand exploded. Cha Cha whipped out his trumpet and fired his lazars at DERPBOT's head, playing a blastissiissiimo Supersonic C. DERPBOT overloaded because of the insanely high frequency and shut down, leaving Veralice baffled and infuriated.

[Mizagium]

Johnny arrived at DERPBOT's head in time to see Cha Cah's grand reveal. He saw the brilliant sword in Cha Cha's hand.

"No! The True Sword!" Johnny saw Cha Cha's goddly acrobatics.

Johnny ran over to where Cha Cha landed, passing the dumbstruck Veralice. He drew the Ugly Stick and pointed it at the Trumpet Hero.

"Cha Cha! Where did you obtain that sword?"

[Sartorius]

(LOL VERALICE CAN'T BE BAFFLED. HES IMMUNE TO CONFUSION AND INSANITY AND BAFFLEDNESS)
"Well, if it isn't the trumpet playing traitor who should've been killed by that tuner. No matter; I'll sort this out later." Veralice said, pushing another button. DERPBOT's laser hand repaired itself and began charging again. "This robot is too advanced for the likes of you, and the only sound it can receive is that of my voice, like this! DERPBOT, SUPER SPECIAL AWESOME MUSTACHE ATTACK!" Veralice yelled. DERPBOT's mustache slowly wrapped itself around Cha Cha's ankle.

[Sartorius]

(Lol the great emperor would never let his creations be destroyed in 1 hit.)

[Mizagium]

(How about in 2 hits?)

Johnny saw Cha Cha being constricted by DERPBOT's mustache. While he would have been content o leave him, he needed to know where he had obtained the True Sword.

Johnny ran over and drop-kicked the green mustache around Cha Cha's leg. DERPBOT let out a derp of pain and released Cha Cha.

"I'll help you defeat DERPBOT, but we need to talk." Johnny told him.

[Sartorius]

(Battles have to be epic. That's the amount of hits needed to defeat DERPBOT. Epic.)

DERPBOT misfired his laser into a nearby forest, burning all the trees and effectively turning the area into a wasteland. Veralice spied on Cha Cha and Johnny talking, so he decided to be courteous and let them speak. LOL YA RITE. Veralice said "DERPBOT, M2 Attack!" and with those words the robot switched to its machine gun hand, peppering the area with bullets, breaking several windows of Taco Bell.

[Xero]

(Hey, Austin, I didn't mean for it to be revealed that Cha Cha had the True Sword yet, so can you have Veralice not know that it's the True Sword until someone tells him... maybe the Time Keeper. But you can let Veralice know that the Sword looks "different" from normal swords.)

[Xero]

"We'll talk later!" said Cha Cha as bullets began firing all around them. Cha Cha jumped on top of Taco Bell and lifted his trumpet to his mouth and his Sword to point at Veralice.
"Veralice! I know your one weakness! (Austin, please go along with this.) We will defeat you!"
He jumped at Veralice and hovered in midair. He spun in the air and turned into the Trumpet Hero, still holding his Sword in his second valve slide. He fired another lazar at Veralice, this time a HyperFreeze C (quintuple C)!!

[Sartorius]

(LOL Have you and Tyler been collaborating on this plot the whole time? And don't worry, Veralice hasn't been listening. He can't really hear much from 100 feet in the air anyway.)

Veralice, unable to hear anything that was on the ground level, noticed that the sword that Cha Cha had used to stab DERPBOT gave a glow that was not attributed to most normal swords. "How strange...Whatever, I'm sure it's just some magic. DERPBOT, C2 Attack!" Veralice commanded. DERPBOT's two arms began to merge into one large cannon as DERPBOT transformed into an enormous tank which Veralice got inside. Now able to cause destruction from DERPBOT's interior, Veralice decided to have some fun.

"Omega Blast!" Veralice said. The air around the area began to be absorbed by the large cannon. Energy from the local plants was siphoned by the robot.

The HyperFreeze C hit the cockpit of the tank, causing Veralice to be stunned, but not completely debilitated
.

[Xero]

(We've only been plotting for about an hour, but yes, we have been planning this out. lol)

Cha Cha, still hovering in front of DERPBOTank, fired another lazar at the monster tank. Cha Cha would not back down. He continued to play higher and higher, hoping that, eventually, DERPBOT would short-circuit. This time he played a sextuple C (Overheat C). He spun around again, and, now back in human form, Cha Cha chased his Overheat C soundwaves, his Sword trailing behind him. As Cha Cha merged with the soundwaves, the Sword began to glow even brighter. Cha Cha roared fiercely as he brought his Sword down on the cockpit of DERPBOTank. The Sword penetrated DERPBOTank's outer shell as if it was butter. The soundwaves flowed through the Sword and the Overheat C echoed within DERPBOTank's cockpit.

[Sartorius]

DERPBOTank, which had been cleanly sliced in two pieces, began to tremble violently. Veralice and all his dimension controlling glory became unstunned by the Overheat C sound waves and jumped outside of the tank.

"You fool. Do you realize what you've done..." Veralice said, quite angry with Cha Cha. Being the nice person he is, he transported himself, Johnny, and Cha Cha back to Omnistar as a sound was heard.

"DERP" said DERPBOT. Veralice, who still had the remote control, said "That is roughly translated to 5." Another DERP was heard, and Veralice told the two that that one was equivalent to 4.

[Xero]

"Derp." "3." "Derp." "2." "Derp." "1."

Then there was nothing. There no expected explosion. There was silence. There was a collective gasp as they thought DERPBOTank was about to explode in awesome nuclear glory. Nobody breathed in the few seconds after they heard the last "Derp."
Suddenly, the earth began rumbling. Cha Cha, Johny, and Veralice heard a faint buzzing. The buzzing grew louder and louder. Cha Cha whirled on his heels and saw the same swarm of Japanese hornets that had been chasing the Perverted Fat Guy earlier. Cha Cha quickly sheathed his Sword and put his trumpet to his face and issued a shrill squeal. This was septuple C: Split-Your-Trumpet-in-Half C. Only the awesomeness of Cha Cha's trumpet could sustain that amount of vibration. The squeal was heard by the hornets, and the swarm began to follow the soundwaves. Cha Cha now had complete control over the swarm. He directed the swarm straight at Veralice, then disappeared.

[Duke Nukem]

Narrator, still dressed as Bill Cosby, decided to care about what was going on right outside his Taco Bell. He had finished counting his money, and was in the middle of eating fried chicken.

"AW, HELL NO. I guess that means I don't get to eat my fried chicken..." Narrator grumbled.

Narrator the omnipresent left his managers office and saw the DERPBOT outside his window counting down to derp/1.

"SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT. I DON'T WANT NO 'SPLOSIONS 'ROUND HERE," Narrator declared to nobody and everybody in particular.

[Duke Nukem]

Narrator is not pleased.

[Mizagium]

Johnny watched this amazing spectacle from the ground. Not to be out done by this mysterious man, he used the power of the False Shield change his image.

He became a large (ten feet tall) metallic humaniod with a power drill on one arm and a buzz-saw on the other.

He began to hack and slash and pull screws out of DERPNBOTank's rollar skates and legs.

[Xero]

As the swarm homed in on Veralice, there was another rumble, this time stronger than the last. The Perverted Fat Guy and burning boy/girl reappeared from the forest, only to continue running to Taco Bell, where DERPBOT was still not exploding.

[Xero]

There was another rumble, and DERPBOT made one final "DUUUUUURRRRP" before exploding, making a mushroom cloud covering all of Awesome Land. Of course, Narrator, being all powerful, survived even though he was standing right next to where DERPBOT had been moments before. All the inhabitants of Awesome Land survived as well, but they couldn't see because the land was shrouded in darkness.

[Mizagium]

Johnny was thrown back (insert ridiculous distance and unit) away, but was unharmed. The power of the False Shield protected his actual form and instead blew away the magical disguise.

[Duke Nukem]

INCORRECT

DERPBOT, although exploding, was still there. THE EXPLOSION WAS AN ILLUSION DESIGNED TO TRICK YOU INTO DROPPING YOUR GUARD BEFORE THE REAL EXPLOSION.

Narrator was not pleased. Before anyone realized that DERPBOT was still unexploded, it flew off into the wild blue yonder with a size 13 boot up it's ass. Narrator was pleased with this outcome. DERPBOT 'sploded in the sky far above the Taco Bell, causing it no harm whatsoever.

Magically pulling another boot out of his infinite pocket and replacing it on his foot, Narrator winked at nobody and everybody and particular. Narrator's cool like that.

[Sartorius]

"Well, that Cha Cha has outdone himself..." Veralice said to himself, slashing wildly at the hornets. As he observed the frantic nature of the hornets attacks, he noticed the land become shrouded in darkness. "Perfect." he said while resuming the slashing.

[Mizagium]

Fine, it was the pure awesomeness that was Narrator's boot-in-ass that blew him away. Literally.

[Mizagium]

(Wait, Veralice wasn't in DERPBOTank?)