Awesome Land II: The War of Four Kings

[Justice Bringer]

"We need to take out the leader of this clone army" said Green/Duncan

they are growing in power and seek only to conquer awesome land. they are a huge threat

[Xero]

Phantom whispered into Jacob's ear. The Lieutenant General nodded and motioned toward Xero. Xero understood and walked towards the tents behind them. Phantom waited a few minutes before leaving, then hurried to catch up with his son. They ran through the tents, throwing open the tent flaps, looking for a certain man, but calling the men from their tents nevertheless. They arrived at the tent in the back of the camp. It was the biggest of them all. Of course... It had to be the biggest. It had to be in the back.

Phantom barged in on a man reclining on his cot, smoking a pipe and reading a book. The book had a picture of a euphonium on the front and said, in big black letters, History of the Baritone and the Baritone Champions. The man looked up from his reading smiled when he saw Phantom in the doorway. He sat up and put his book down, walking over to greet his old friend.

"Welcome, Colonel Phantom! Why, I haven't seen you since that bloody rebellion against that old geiser, McJimmy! And who is this?" he exclaimed, turning to Xero.

"This is my oldest son, Xero," Phantom informed his lively old friend.

"Welcome to the Corps, Xero! Or rather, I should say, the Corpsvets," the man said, shaking Xero's hand energetically. "I'm Major Chris Oglesby."

[Duke Nukem]

Narrator was all like "whatever" and decided to follow Cha Cha into the black hole.

"Let's rock."

[Mizagium]

Johnny, Sarah and any other characters controlled by me have returned after a day and a half spent playing Spore^TM, lol.

For some reason they decided to ignore anything posted my Michael cause it would take to long to read.

Oh, wait... I'm not talking about them...

General Corinth led his men cautiously across the Emptiness where Awesome Land once sat. His men were nervous about being so close to the Null-Void. In truth, so was he, but he had to not let his men see that. He was their fearless leader (lol, like Rob).

He was leading his men on the same quest that had been undertaken by the Hero, and First King of Really Cool, Isaac. (If you don't know what that is, look in the Awesome Land Wiki). Only this time, due to everyones complete disregard for physics, the normally year-long journey was only going to take another hour or so...or not.

General Corinth stopped. All of his men questioned him as to why they had stopped. "Men," He addressed his troops, "We are about to enter a Land of such EPICNESS that the very sight of the ground might BLOW YOUR MIND!" The soldiers looked about uneasily. Was there mighty general loosing HIS mind?

"I'm totally serious here, Groovy Land is not a place to be taken lightly. I need all of you to fortify your minds here. Be prepared for ANYTHING!" Against their better judgment (and by that I mean resisting the urge to mutiny and go home and put General Corinth in a psychiatric home), they mentally prepared themselves for anything that might potentially BLOW THEIR MIND.

They entered Groovy Land. The very ground they stood on was a wash of all psychedelic colors. The sky was a color no one had ever seen before. A few soldiers MINDS WERE BLOW right there. "Leave them," Mycenae Corinth commanded.

The trekked deeper into Groovy Land, loosing five more soldiers along the way (it wouldn't be an epic journey without loss, amirite?) until General Corinth commanded them again. "Hold." A tall tower loomed in front of them. It would have been more menacing if it wasn't tie-dye pink and purple.

"Here it is men, this is what we came here for: the Tower of Science, home to...

...BILL NYE THE SCIENCE GUY!" /caps.

[Duke Nukem]

"And lo, lots'o'shit happened," Narrator narrated. "Cha Cha and Narrator decided to venture into the Null Void encompassed Awesome Land with the Phantom Regiment, the rest of the Watsrobe family met up with British Jacob Throop and Chris Oglesby's forces, and Chrono Ridley swallows up Awesome Land and doesn't afraid of anything."

After Narrator finished narrating, he realized that he needed a sidekick, so he pulled one out of his pocket. His name was Captain Clever. "Sup sidekick," Narrator said, as if pulling a living person out of his pocket wasn't out of the ordinary at all.

[Duke Nukem]

All that stuff already happened.

[Mizagium]

Just reading the sign that said "Tower of Science" was enough to BLOW A FEW SOLDIERS MINDS!

General Corinth led his men inside cautiously. As they trekked further into the Tower, they could hear Bill Nye the Science Guy's theme song. It was awesome.

[Justice Bringer]

all the clones following General Corinth head's asploded at the sound of bill nye's theme song

[Mizagium]

(What, I was being followed?)

The doors in front of them opened and the theme music got louder, until it finally played all the way through. A medium-sized man in a white lab coat was there to greet them.

"Hello, I'm Bil Nye. Welcome to my Laboratory of Science!" At "of Science!" a soldiers head asploaded. "Hmm, interesting...." Bill examined the soldier.

"Mr. Science Guy, we need your help. The fate of all the Lands could be at stake." General Corinth pleaded. It was not necessary.

"Oh, I already know. I've been observing the events that transpired in Season one through my Optical Looking Device of Science!" Another soldier's head asploaded. "Hmm..." Bill picked up a spoon. "Let's see...this is the Spoon of Science!" A soldier's head asploaded. "Curious...oh well."

"You, you already know?" General Corinth ignored the death of three of his men.

"Yes. I have also built you a device that will allow you to travel into the Null-Void." He directed there attention to a large machine. "Behold, the Inter-dimension Transmutation Device!" Another soldier's head asploaded. "I didn't even say 'Of Science!'" Another soldier's head asploaded.

"Stop doing that!" Corinth was getting annoed with his soldiers' heads asploading.

"Sorry...Here I will have my assistant bring the machine to CHRONO RIDLEY with you. Come here!" Bill Nye called to his assistant. A very, very fat man wearing fishnets and a tube top appeared out of nowhere.

Also he was on fire.

[Mizagium]

Derp-bot suddenly stepped (lol, rolled) out of the Narraotr dimension. He had just finished his quest to recover his mustache. (At least, I think it was lost...)

Something was wrong, he could feel it in his circuits. His orange turban rustled in a slight breeze. His sensors started derping.

"Derp derp derp derp. Derp derp. Derp derp derp derp DDDDDDDDDDDDEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!! Derp."

Roughly translated: "The Null-Void is now closer than ever. It seems to be just beyond Awesome Land. OMG!! All of Awesome Land has been absorbed into the Null-Void, which has then been absorbed into the chest of RIDLEY! There must be something I can do to rectify this mistake."

With that, Derp-bot rolled away on his blue roller skates to find a solution.

[Sartorius]

(LOL Has everyone forgotten about Sarah, Johnny, Veralice, Taenas, Walter, and Dragonforce all chilling in the Null Void? The Really Cool siblings are currently following Veralice and the two rulers of Awesome Land are chillin' while listening to music.)

The former emperor began to practice his magic, something he hadn't done since he was a child. He relied on his sword's power to get the job done. He aimed his finger at one of Taenas' Imperial soldiers and said "Bow". Focusing all of his energy, a beam of red energy hit the man, enveloping him in a red glow. Immediately afterwards, the soldier bowed with a confused look upon his face. Veralice released the spell and laughed silently, stopping quickly to realize his true goal: Finding the Time Keeper.

[Mizagium]

(lol, Dragonforce)

[Xero]

Once Narrator had joined them, Cha Cha called the Phantom Regiment to attention.

"Band! Ten hut!" he commanded. The Regiment fell perfectly still, rigid as boards in front of the Trumpet Hero. "My father and my brother are inside that black hole over there." He indicated the huge vortex that had swallowed Awesome Land and had nearly swallowed them. "We have to help them get out of there. But the only way to do that is to destroy that dragon up there." He pointed toward CHRONO RIDLEY. "That will be the job of the Special Royal Navy. I've left the Queen and Flag Captain Estdyn with instructions. We...." he paused, searching for the right words so as not to frighten these veterans from the Ausum Army and from Drum Corps International. "We will be helping your Colonel Phantom from the inside." The Regiment seemed to know what was coming next, although their faces didn't show it because they were still perfectly still at attention. "We must journey into the Null Void."

"Sir!" a voice shouted from the back of the perfect block the Regiment had formed. "How will we be going about this? Many men gave their lives to save us from being sucked into the Void. Why would we disparage their work and walk straight into what we just worked so hard to avoid?"

"Because your colonel and his son are in there!" Cha Cha shouted impatiently. "The founder of the great Phantom Regiment is in there, risking his life to rid the land of tyranny! Are you telling me that the feared Phantom Regiment is afraid to journey into the unknown?" There was silence. Nobody wanted to speak up to answer that. "I didn't think so! Now, I have a plan. When I found Sarah Mambutoo O'Malley in the Veral Dimension, I gave her an item that prevented her from fading into the Null Void. I believe that same object will allow us to enter the Void and escape unharmed. That object is something we all carry with us at all times.... A Soul Patch!"

At hearing the name of the most revered element of survival in all of Drum Corps history, there was a collective gasp, though it was silent as the men were still at attention. "At ease, men," Cha Cha called out. "Now, I trust you all have your Soul Patches with you," he said, hinting at the likelihood of severe punishment if any failed to produce a Soul Patch at that instant. Every man on deck immediately flashed their bright red pieces of fabric from their jacket pockets, except for Narrator and Salvatore, who had had no experience in Drum Corps before. Cha Cha revealed a miniature trumpet case that held a myriad of colorful Soul Patches, all infused with his own power. Each member of the Regiment had personally been given their Soul Patches by Phantom himself, and, as such, each Soul Patch contained Phantom's power, as well as the power of the owner. Cha Cha handed Soul Patches to Narrator and Salvatore. Then he looked around the deck. Everyone had a Patch. Good. Now for the Poltergeist. He looked at where the mast had been previously and regretted the damage done to his father's prized ship. How would he explain this to his father? Well, that was of little importance right now. If he didn't hurry, he might never have to explain it to his father because he wouldn't be able to. He lifted the mast by himself in a burst of strength and placed it back in its former position. He tied the mast down to the deck, using ropes to tie it to the sides of the ship. He then took the cloth of what used to be the mainstay and took a Soul Patch from his Box of Mysteries. He covered a hole that had been torn by a hailstone with the Soul Patch and pressed it down with his trumpet. He blew into his trumpet, and the sail began to glow. Then he began to play a song. The Phantom Regiment joined in, and even Narrator and Salvatore, who had never heard the song before, but were captivated by it, began to sing the majestic tune of Fire of Eternal Glory. The mainsail burst into bright white and red flames, engulfing the entire ship in its magnificent light. The sail looked as good as new, and it swallowed the wind, pressing the ship forward with a mighty surge. The ship pressed on toward the Null Void as the Phantom Regiment played Fire of Eternal Glory in all its awesomeness. The entire crew of the Special Royal Navy and all the captains, and even the Queen, emerged from their ships at the breathtaking sound of Shostakovich's great work of art sounding out over the waters. The prow of the Poltergeist pierced the Null Void, the current no longer pulling them in, but allowing the ship to pass into the Void calmly. As the Regiment reached the end of the song, the ship glowed brighter than ever, and the last note cut off perfectly, the perfectly balanced, perfectly tuned fortissiissimo note resonating across the entire expanse of water, from Awesome Land to Ausum Land, to Really Cool Land, to Groovy Land, and even in to the depths of Special Land. Chills shot down the spines of everyone who heard the Phantom Regiment. The note continued to echo across the waters. Then there was silence. The stern of the ship was just beginning to pass into the Void when the trumpets and horns could be heard very softly playing the final notes of the song. Then there was silence. The Poltergeist, and the Regiment along with it, disappeared. They had made it into the Void.

[Duke Nukem]

Narrator high-fived Captain Clever.

[Mizagium]

Johnny and Sarah slipped away from Veralice while he was practicing his magic on a soldier. They were going to find their own way out of CHRONO RIDLEY.

"I don't like him." Sarah declared. "He seems like a buffoon, a buffoon with to much power."

"Yeah, he does seem like that, but he actually knows what he's doing." Johnny shrugged. He looked at Sarah; she had an uncomfortable look on her face. "What's wrong?"

"It's just..." she said with a pause. "I was trapped so close to the Null-Void for so long, it...it doesn't feel any better out here." She shivered unconsciously. "It feels a little worse."

"Well..." Johnny didn't know what to say. "Awesome Land WAS pulled into the Null-Void, so technically we're in the Null-Void." Sarah remained silent. The two kept walking to the know edge of the Null-Void.

Then they saw something they didn't expect: General Scree Tamwyn and his men. He was among the two top generals of the RCA. "Greetings, General Tamwyn!" Johnny called to him.

"And to you, Prince Johnny, and Princess Sarah!" They rushed up to the general, delighted to see familiar faces. "The King received your package and sent General Corinth and I immediately."

"Where is General Corinth, then?" Sarah inquired.

"General Corinth got tied up in the barracks and was forced to delay his departure by a day. It proved to be a huge difference as we were caught up in the Null-Void by that big pterodactyl. General Corinth I would assume is outside this dimension, where Awesome Land once sat."

As General Corinth spoke, he, Johnny, Sarah, and his men witnessed an amazing spectacle. A large object pierced through the edge of the Null-Void over the water. The object turned out to be a ship, and a large ship at that.

The ship was engulfed in a mystical fire and bore the insignia of the Phantom Regiment.

[Sartorius]

"Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!" Verliace laughed maniacally. He was eager to find the Time Keeper and had to make sure he was mentally prepared; the only way to do so was to laugh to his heart's content. He noticed that Sarah and Johnny had disappeared, so he used it as an opportunity to practice his magic some more. Using the same soldier test subject, Veralice whispered "Lose your conscience. Become nothing itself. Give yourself over to me and follow my command. Imperio!" Another beam of light emitted from his finger and enveloped the soldier. "Yes, my puppet...Follow my command. Say as I say. Do as I do. Represent me as you would yourself..." Veralice whispered. The beam of light became a more intense crimson color.

~Hello. My name is Unidentified Soldier.~ Veralice thought, positioning the soldier over to where Johnny and Sarah had walked. With completed disregard for their current conversation the soldier shouted "HI! MY NAME IS UNIDENTIFIED SOLDIER!" to Sarah.

[Sartorius]

While the mind controlled soldier distracted Sarah, Johnny, and the Phantom Regiment by shouting, Veralice drew a circle in the ground near the ruins of the Clock Tower. He then proceeded to draw several runic symbols around the circle, finishing by drawing a PENTAGRAM OH NOES inside the circle.

"Lord of Illusion! We are to face a powerful enemy! Those who accompany me don't seem to comprehend his power. Create an illusion of him using one tenth of his energy! Have him fight us so that we may be prepared when the real battle arises! I implore you!" Veralice shouted. The circle that he had drawn began to glow when it was struck by LIGHTNING OH NOES. A cylindrical wall of light surrounded the circle, and when it fell there stood the Illusionary Time Keeper. He was in the form of the normal non clock Time Keeper but only had a fraction of his power.

The Illusionary Time Keeper, wielding a fake version of the Time Keeper's staff walked toward Sarah, Johnny, the Phantom Regiment, and the soldier who was still busy distracting everyone.

[Duke Nukem]

Narrator and Captain Clever did pelvic thrusts on the prow of the ship as it did whatever flying ships covered in flames do.

[Mizagium]

Derp-bot wandered the expanse of Emptiness that was once Awesome Land. He didn't find anything or anyone. They were all, it seemed, pulled into the Null-Void. Unfortunatley, his creators failed to equip Derp-bot with a device to pass through the Null-Void.

~Derp, derp.~ He thought, which translated into ~Those fools.~

He continued to roll on his blue roller skates, his orange turban flowing in the nonexistent breeze. "DERP!" he yelled in frustration. The derp echoed across the Emptiness, unobstructed.

Derp-bot was about to give up when he saw something on the horizon. Using his Derp-bot Super Scope Vision, he zoomed in to see that it was a man. A general by the looks of him. A general of the RCA. The lone figure soon became thousands as the entirety of his army came into view.

Delighted, Derp-bot rushed over to meet them, his already super-speediness was amplified by a set of hidden rocket boosters located where his butt should be, all the time yelling "Derp derp derp derp derp derp derp!"

General Corinth was confused at this sight. A small, R2D2 type robot with amazing fashion sense was rushing to them yelling what sounded like "derp". He braced himself for anything.

The littlerobot rolled up to him and began "derping" incoherently (even for Derp-bot).

"Settle down, little robot. Be you friend or foe?" General Corinth asked Derp-bot.

"DERP!"

Somehow, General Corinth understood that and recognized Derp-bot as a friend. "You may travel with us if you like, but be warned, we are traveling to a war-zone."

"Derp." Derp-bot responded passively, as if to say, "Been there, done that." He turned to look at all of the troops and greeted them with a friendly smile (lolwut! Derp-bot has facial expressions!) Then he saw him...

The man was grotesquely fat. He was wearing fishnets and a tube top. For all intents and purposes, he was 98% naked. He was also on fire.

Upon seeing the man who had attacked him at McJimmy's, Derp-bot began to run (roll) around screaming. "Dderp DERP DERP DERP DERP DERP DERP DERP DERP DERP DERP DERP DERP DERP DERP DERP DERP DERP DERP DERP DERP DERP DERP DERP DERP DERP DERP DERP DDDDDDDDDDDDEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPP!"

General Corinth attempted to calm Derp-bot. "Relax, my friend. He will not harm you. Bill Nye the Science Guy asked him to bring his machine thing (I can't remember what I called it) to help us get into the Null-Void"

Derp-bot eyed (lolwut?) the Perverted Fat Guy cautiously. PFG gave Derp-bot a disturbing look. Derp-bot decided to stick with General Corinth at the front of the army.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bill Nye the Science guy continued to tinker in his Laboratory of Science. Somewhere, a soldiers head asploaded. As he conducted an experiment that would have been impossible in a dimension that actually followed the Laws of Physics, a great example of no physics happened behind him.

"You're back." Bill Nye stated to the figure that manifested out of a unique dimensional portal. "I recall you saying you would never come back."

"It's not the first time I've lied to you, is it?" The man asked. Bill Nye frowned at this. He turned to face the figure. He was draped in a black robe, with the image of a sickle imprinted on the front. The sleeves were lined with a deep purple cloth.

"You trapped me here. I don't much appreciate that." Bill Nye said calmly, with obvious disgust. The man ignored him.

"Your little experiment won't free you from the Chains you are bound to. I made quite sure of that." The figure out emphasis on each word of his second sentence. "This world...is not what I had envisioned." He was now totally unaware of Bill Nye. "I envisioned a world where you wouldn't be bound by laws, where you could do anything." The man walked through Bill Nye's Lab, poking at odd things. "I never imagined it would turn out like this."

"So you hastily created a set of Laws and trapped me here to enforce them." Bill Nye spat at the man. "Well let me tell you something: It hasn't worked! Physics mean NOTHING! Some are discovering this, and one has found out how to ignore them entirely!"

"Then you're not doing your job."

The man disappeared into a portal as Bill Nye yelled. "Cavalniver you COWARD!"

[Duke Nukem]

Narrator's narrator senses went off. Sense he lived on a plane of existence referred to as "being the man with a copy of the script" he knew what had just happened between Bill Nye and what's-his-face. Physics were going to happen.

"Uh oh."

[Calfrun]

As Cha Cha stood wathing where the ship was taking them, a figure aproached him. It was a 15 year old boy, barely old enough, if at all, to be part of Ausum Land's military. He stood in a jacket, a t-shirt and jeans, with the only garment not black being his red headband. Obviously not following ANY uniform regulations. At his side was a sheathed sword, a rapier.
"So," began the figure, Zento Calfrun, what to I get to kill first?" He had a smile as he said this.

[Duke Nukem]

Captain Clever, standing nearby, deduced that this new guy was obviously inclined towards violence. He decided to handle the youth delicately.

"Your mom."

[Calfrun]

Calfrun glared at Captain Clever.
"Died while I was training." He added, not realizing that this was simply a joke that gets old quickly unless used properly.

[Justice Bringer]

all of the sudden Motevator666 came out of no where and hugged Zento Calfrun before he quickly darted away screaming

"U C WUT I DID THAR?!?!?!?!"

[Calfrun]

Calfrun brushed off his jacket and looked in the direction Motevator666 had run off.
"WTF???"