Awesome Land II: The War of Four Kings

[Xero]

(Unfortunately, you fail to recognize the loophole in your post.

Oct 8, 2008 16:05:44 GMT -5 Myrdraxxis said:

with that a super giant WAVE of fire shot out and fried the Falcons

You never said you fried all of the Falcons, so there were still some for me to kill.)

"Watcha talkin' bout? Ah killed dem Falcons! Ah ain't nevah no lateman!" Mykal said, unaware that he had slipped into the best possible worst possible stereotypical black person accent imitation (by substitution, that means the best possible Mrs. Beetschen imitation) He proceeded to fire another Supersonic C at Zais. "Fry that!"

[Xero]

Feeling the sudden urge to do random seven-octave (Trumpet Suicide range) jazz improv, Mykal commenced a brief warm-down, consisting of double, triple, quadruple, and even quintuple octave pedal tones, eventually reaching below Tuba range (that's right. A Trumpet playing lower than a Tuba). Coincidentally, by corrupted logic, because high notes awaken the dead, low notes put them back to sleep. By the time Mykal reached past the Brown Note, the zombies had gone back to being lifeless corpses. Strangely, they returned to the dead just as the very first zombie reached his hand above the ground. Mykal saw this and shrugged.

"Meh. Just a coincidence."

He decided not to risk waking the dead again and reluctantly gave up his chance to blast Screamer Notes.

"Aaawww....." he said, downcast.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Down in the woods, PFG heard the Brown Note. You can guess what happened next.

[Justice Bringer]

PFG ran up to Cafrun and huged him, the diarria foaming out of his fishnets

[Mizagium]

"What do you mean, I stole from you?" Johnny questioned Cavalniver.

"The amulet."

"Amulet?" Johnny produced the amulet he found in the Darkness. "Here take it." Johnny offered it to him.

"It doesn't work that way." Cavalniver shook his head. "The amulet binds itself to whomever first retrieves it. In order to take it from you, I would have to kill you."

"That's stupid!" Johnny yelled, quite frankly, at me. "Hey, your were just too lazy to go get it weren't you?" He accused Cavalniver.

"Maybe."

"Whatever!" Johnny walked up to Cavalniver and punched him in the face. "Now get out of here!" Cavalniver, shocked, obliged and left.

"That was easy." Then he remembered the True Sword still in the Pocket of Darkness. "Cha Cha, Sarah, you have to come with me to get the True Sword back."

"Why?" Sarah asked.

"I embraced the darkness, so the True Sword won't respond to me any more."

"But why do you need both of us?" Cha Cha asked. (Sorry Michael)

"Because, One is the loneliest number that you'll ever see. Two can be as bad as one, its the loneliest number since the number one. Three is the magic number." Cha Cha was satisfied with this answer.

Johnny called forth some of the darkness and transported them to the Pocket of Darkness.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Elsewhere, at the bottom of the Sea of That's What You Think, a Nom Nom fish swam by. (Picture Adamczyk making the weirdest face he can, thats the Nom Nom fish) It spotted the shiny Artifacts of Wisdom. "NOM NOMS!" It exclaimed and gobbled them up and swam away.

[Mass]

Vincent who always carried around spare cloaks, in places that they should not fit in, pulled them out randomly. He handed one to Kayne and put one on himself. As soon as he did the Brass Lord emblem formed on his cloak. Kayne swooped towards Zais.
"FOOL!!!!! I can hear you and all your zombie freaky dead things ta.... What was I saying?" Kayne soon left and sat on a cloud watching PFG and his diarrhea foaming through his fishnets while he hugged Calfrun.

[Xero]

Xero, Phantom, and Mykal all felt another chill. This time it was stronger, though. It was as if a familiar presence had simply disappeared from the face of the earth. Mykal could not ignore it this time. He shivered uncontrollably, hanging in midair, unable to follow the rest of the warriors who were falling.

Seeing the Trumpet King immobile, Jacob Throop sprang into action. He whipped out his Uber Trumpet Case and opened it up. A bright light shone forth from the Case, blinding everyone in sight. When the light disappeared, Mykal and the Brass Lords were gone. The end of the Case could be seen slipping into another dimensional rip. The rip closed behind the case, and the wind lashed past the falling warriors. The faint echo of a Trumpet playing American Elegy in the background could be heard as the Future returned from the Past. (To clarify, only the Brass Lords from the future disappeared. Jacob, Vincent, Kayne, and Lacquer are still in Awesome Land in the present.)

Realizing they were now left alone with the remaining Falcon Troops, Jacob Throop, Leon, Narrator, Zais, Organization XXI, Vincent, and Kayne, Lacquer clutched at his Corpsvets Soul Patch and close his eyes. His descent began to decrease in magnitude of velocity. Turning into his Tuba Lord form, Lacquer blasted LOLTUBAPEDAL C at the ground. The earth began to shake violently with the force of the sound waves. Waves could actually be seen pulsating from the ground directly below where Lacquer was.

Jacob, feeling he had done a decent job freeing the Brass Lords of the Future, decided to return to Awesome Land to find Chris Oglesby and the rest of the Corpsvets. He whirled around and transformed. Jacob Throop, the Trumpet Legend, now appeared before them as a golden Cornet. He played a final parting note, LOLPICCOLO C, sending the Falcon Troops into a shrieking frenzy again, then left, air-walking down to the Awesome Woods.

[Xero]

Phantom and Xero fell to the floor in violent convulsions. Rowlek rushed to their aid, but could not do anything to help his friend and rival and his father.

Taenas took his chance....

[Myrdraxxis]

Zais growled in annoyance as Mykal had caused his army to halt their awakening. He then shruggs off the super sonic blast thingy, called a therapist to help Mykal with his interracial confusion and then laughed. "I suppose it doesn't really matter. You cant kill what isn't living.....and I have a new plan!" Zais shouts and brings forth his bowl of rice crispy cereal!

"Hey, Leon I gotta go do something antagonist-ish, I'll be back later." and with that Zais disappeared back to the the generic dark cavern.

~~~~~~

"Now then." Zais said as he reapeared in the cavern. "I have finally unlocked the secrets of this fabled cereal!" he shouts again and raises the bowl over his head. It glowed for a moment before shooting out beams of light at the sleeping undead, robot things. They jolted and then begin to move......again. Over in the corner the coffin shattered and another figure jumped out.

"Ah finally awake I see." Zais said. The figure didn't respond. Zais just shrugged and continued. "Anyways, the pure power of the rice crispy cereal has superpowered your troops to make sure that you can't be put into slumber again by those annoying brass-tards (No I don't mean anything by that.)

The figure wordlessly turned to the mechanical undead that were gathering around them. He raised a metal hand and green light shot forth.

The earth began to shake.

All over Awsome Land people stopped and watched as Huge black pyramids began to rise out of the ground. Green lances of light shot through the sky. Swarms of mechanicle scarabs descended on unsuspecting towns, eating the doomed occuants alive. Mechanicle figures began to claw their way to the surface en masses. Soon the land was swarming with the sudden army.

Deep below the surface, Zais grinned evily.

"Let's see how Awsome Land deals with the ancient powers of the Necron."

[Xero]

Awesome Land swallowed the Necron. That's how.

PFG popped out of nowhere again, still on fyre, as usual, but this time spelled with a y. He ran around the cave, hugging random mechanical (mechanicle!?? spelling!) undead, setting them on faer, refusing to spell fire the same way two times in a row. The green pillars of light burst into flames, turning into pillars of fire shooting up into the clouds. Smoke clouds gathered over all of Awesome Land, and Derp-bot stepped from the Narrator Dimension into the Generic Cave (that's its name now). Puking oil and kandiez at the sight of PFG hugging mechanical zombies, Derp-bot opened a compartment in his chest and revealed a small tie-dye orb. The colors of the orb began to spin around, mixing together to eventually form a sickly brownish color. Suddenly, the orb turned pitch black, and a fierce wind filled the cave, drawing all within the cave toward the orb. This was the Null Orb. Having come from the Narrator Dimension, Derp-bot had grabbed the Orb, which was a portal to the Null Void in another Generic Story. This Null Void had not been destroyed, and any who entered the the Void would be unable to return to the story of Awesome Land (or Ausum Land, Special Land, Groovy Land, Really Cool Land, or Beethaven, for that matter.) Unfortunately, the evil Zais was not sucked into the orb, but, luckily, the undead were, throwing Zais' plans into a nosedive. Derp-bot remained in the Generic Cave for a generic amount of time, providing a generic opportunity for Zais to generically interrupt the victory of the generic hero and to return the story to its generic plotline.

[Myrdraxxis]

Zais rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Hmmmm, didn't see that coming." he popped up befind PFG and slices his head off with his epyk scythe(as it is now called) "That probably not going to stop him but.....it made me feel better." Zais popped up above ground and then realized something. "Wait.....he lit LIGHT on fire??" Zais rubbed his chin again. "Hmmmm well I could either get those Chaos boys back again....nah!" Zais then realized something and immediatly started laughing. Derp-bot had only gotten rid of the Necron (who for the last time are ROBOTS...check the discussions board) inside of the Generic Cave. There were still Necron coming out the wazoo all over Awsome Land. "Hehehe nice try, plot twists. Now then, on to being generically evil!" Zais shouted and then transpoted himself to the forgotten Chaos camp.
It looked just like he had left it. Corpses everywhere, blood-red sky's, chanting cultists...yep nothing different. Zais noticed that the army was gathered around a large tv watching....Spongbob?

"Ahem." Zais said with annoyance. They all looked up. "Wadda YOU want." one said accusingly. Zais smiled.

"Oh I just wanted to bring to your attention the fact that there is a new enemy running around Awsome Land, stealing all the blood for themselves." there was a large pause. Then as one the thousands of Chaos soldiers stood up in rage, grabbed their weapons and began charging off into Awsome Land once again. Zais smiled and transported himself to a nearby cliff. He looked out over Awsome land and watched the destruction unfold.

It was good.

"The world now hangs by a thread." he whispered. "If either the Chaos or Necron win the end result will be the same. Not only that, but Leon seems to not even know what it is that he is looking for. The powers that it holds. The wounds from wars of old have not yet healed and the world is weak. Soon my plans shall be completed. Soon the Change God's ultimate scheme will come to pass." Now Zais' eyes widened manically.

"Total oblivion."

[Xero]

PFG's head magically reattached itself to his body as if it had never been severed BECAUSE IT HADN'T. PFG NEVER DIES!!

PFG pulled himself out of Zais' ear (wut? he's a magician now too?) and slashed Zais' sliced Zais' head off with his EPYK HANDS. Realizing that he had not received permission to kill Zais', PFG reattached Zais' head to his body, then proceeded to give him "the boot." Rather than flying miles across Awesome Land because of the mass*acceleration of the kick, Zais burrowed miles beneath Awesome Land.

"Mamma mia!" came a voice. When Zais looked up, rather than seeing what he expected, he observed something much more disturbing. He did not see Mario, as would have been the stereotype formed by the above phrase. He saw a large crowd of people in suits and dresses. It was the wedding crowd from Mamma Mia! And who should he see sitting in the front row but John Mote!

PFG appeared out of nowhere to attack Zais again, but, upon seeing his clone, he puked and gutted Mote with his EPYK HANDS. Satisfied, PFG returned to his frantic running in attempt to put out his perpetual fayr and disappeared from the cave.

[Xero]

Back in the Generic Cave, Derp-bot sealed the portal into the Generic Void and returned to the Narrator Dimension with a victory "Derp."

[Mizagium]

Knox, Jace, Sherri, and Crass just watched all of what was happening, having been forgotten by everyone.

"Why are we here?" Knox asked of his comrades.

"Well, we kinda promised we would stick around with them." Jace admitted.

"You lost a card game, huh." Knox uncovered.

"Yep." Crass piped in.

"Oh well," Knox sighed.

[Myrdraxxis]

Zais crawled out of the hole with a growl of annoyance. Now he was pissed. He looked around at the Mamma Mia crowd. He pulled out his epyk scythe and killed them all in ways so disturbing that even the Chaos army flinched for a moment before continuing their fight with the THOUSANDS of surviving Necron. Zais smiled at his handy work and then turned to the Organization members. "Sooo wuzzup?"

[Mizagium]

"'Sup," Knox nodded to Zais.

Sherri smiled. Jace kept up his look of disinterest. Crass rushed up to him. "Hey, whats up with you?" he asked REALLY fast. (Robbie fast.)

[Myrdraxxis]

Zais shrugged. "Well, I'm starting to get bored. My goals have been accomplished for now and Lean seems to have disappeared off the face of the planet (or the smash boards). Sooo what is it you guys do again?" he asked, glaring at Crass and reaching for his scythe.

[Mizagium]

"We're a super awesome blackjack team!" Crass shouted.

"We're the Hearts. There's three other suits: the Diamonds, the Spades, and the Clubs." Jace added on after shoving Crass out of the way.

"We don't really do much..." Sherri admitted.

[Myrdraxxis]

Zais thought for a moment. "So what exactly are the other suits like? Do they have people like.....him there?" he pointed to Crass with a hint of irritation

[Xero]

The undead Mamma Mia wedding crowd rose up out of the hole and dog-piled Zais.

[Mizagium]

The Hearts used their asian-like reflexes and repelled the undead mama mia crowd. Knox chain-grabbed them off of the stage. Then he returned to Zais.

"No, Crass is one of a kind."

[Myrdraxxis]

Zais sighed in relief. "Oh thank Tzeentch! I thought I would have some purging to do. So yeah...any positions open? I feel like doing something random as the world burns around me." He said, side-stepping a random blast from a necron gauss gun. "Oh dear, seems they have made it this far already.."

[Mass]

"DOG PILE!" Yelled Vincent who proceeded to jump on the Undead Mamma mia fools.
"I hate Mamma Mia..." Kayne said under his breath and then played a fff F for fry instantly setting them all on pyre(lolz different word for the win). Vincent just sat there also on phire.

[Mizagium]

"WHATS GOING ON?" Knox was utterly confused by this plot.

[Mass]

"Get some randomness for the win!" The Mamma Mia crowd sang/yelled in three part harmony.

[Myrdraxxis]

Zais stared at him. "You havn't noticed the raging forces of Chaos and Necron destroying the world as we know it all around us?" he asked in disbelief. Then he remembered who he was talking to and sighed. "Err nevermind." He then turned to Kayne. "Where the hell did they come from?" he pointed at the mamma mia crowd. "I thought I killed them?" He shugged. "Oh well....Ill just DO IT AGAIN!"
He whipps out his Epyk Scythe and begins to chant.

"Come Forth, Darkness of the Abyss, Burning Sword! And the Conflagration of Mist, Shadows, Enmity, Destruction, and Vengeance! Set he and I aflame, burning to our very foundation! Hellfire Conflagration!" (lol English translation instead of Latin this time)

Needless to say there wasn't much left of the mamma mia crowd after that.