~~~The Legend of Bob~~~ Official Story Thread

[Sartorius]

Welcome to the brand new Official Story Thread. To keep things organized, I have decided to separate discussions of Bob and the actual story. This is the place where the story goes; as such you are not allowed to post discussions here. Any questions, comments, concerns and the like should go in the discussion thread.If I catch you posting here, I will move The Legend of Bob in its entirety to a completely different forum.

Please keep this in mind. I shall commence with Chapter 6 shortly.

[Sartorius]

Chapter 6: Wrestlin' with the Robo-Rabbit

Welcome to the next chapter in the story chronicling Bob in his quest to save Georgia from a giant moon summoned by magical flowers. I ask you not to post here but instead in the other thread, as indicated by the first post. Without any of that 'ado' stuff, let's begin.
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Bob dashed toward Mecha Faldor with the blade Excalibob as the robotic rabbit stayed in place. Bob's swordplay was off because he was constantly checking his watch, for Georgia was to be destroyed in 50 minutes. Mecha Faldor noticed this and kicked Bob toward the wall.

"What's the matter, Bob? Cat got your arm? Hahahahahaha" Mecha Faldor laughed as if he had said something hilarious.

"Georgia...All those people who betrayed me...and my favorite chicken restaurants are doomed if I don't get to Martha soon!" Bob yelled, running around in circles.

[Sartorius]

"As I said before, Georgia matters not. All non rabbit species are doomed for their crimes toward bunnies!" Mecha Faldor yelled, pinning Bob to the wall with his carrot lance.

~This robot is going to be hard to beat. But if I don't, everything I knew and almost loved is gone!~ thought Bob, who still held Excalibob in his hand.

"Now...You are trapped, Bob. You shall be destroyed and the destruction of all the human race will ensue." said Mecha Faldor in his crazy evil voice.

[Sartorius]

"Hahahaha...Imma chargin' mah lazar, Bob." Mecha Faldor said calmly as his eyes began to glow a bright, carroty orange. "Do you know what this means?" he asked Bob, his eyes getting brighter by the second.

"You're inviting me to a tea party this Saturday?" asked Bob, hoping it was the truth. Bob loved tea almost as much as he loved chicken.

"No...Not even close. Although I am a huge fan of orange tea. It's quite soothing." Mecha Faldor said, his eyes preparing to fire at any minute.

"Yea, orange tea is pretty soothing. I like to put sugar in tea." Bob said, staring directly at Mecha Faldor's eyes, trying to blind himself before he died.

[Sartorius]

"YOU DO WHAT!?!? HOW DARE YOU! SUGAR IS THE PLANT OF THE DEVIL!!!!" yelled Mecha Faldor, moving closer to Bob to ensure he was fully decimated by the laser.

"Oh, really? I always thought that the plant of the devil was carrot? I mean, a pure white crop seems to be less likely to be evil than a crop that's orange like fire." said Bob, trying his hand at 'logic' for once.

"RRRRRRRRRRAAAAAGH!!!!!!!! And to think I was considering letting you go! I WILL UTTERLY DESTROY YOU AS PAINFULLY AS POSSIBLE!!!!!!!" exclaimed Mecha Faldor, standing up straight as he scanned Bob for the perfect place to fire his laser.

[Sartorius]

~Oh...I've really messed up this time, haven't I?~ Bob asked himself. Curious as always, Bob asked "How do you plan on killing me? I'd rather prepare myself for the worst."

"I will kill you as embarrassingly as possible." Mecha Faldor stated simply to Bob.

"Oh, how is that?" Bob asked, who knew that all of these questions were just delaying the inevitable.

"By destroying your pants first!" laughed Mecha Faldor, who aimed his glowing orange eyes at Bob's pants.

[Sartorius]

"M-My pants?" asked Bob, slightly confused. He reached into the side of his backpack, which fortunately had not been pinned completely against the wall. He placed an item in his pants pocket and awaited Mecha Faldor's response.

"Yes, your pants. I know how you humans value your dignity, and this ensures that you die as horrible a way as any. Just think of the headlines in your local non Fox news station: "Local Boy Killed in Underpants as he Foolishly Tried to Save Georgia from Doom."

"I suppose you're right, then...Well, I'm ready when you are." Bob said, bracing himself for the attack.

[Sartorius]

"Very well then, Bob. Adios, fool. IMMA FIRIN MAH LAZAR!!!!!!" shouted Mecha Faldor. With those words, Mecha Faldor fired a large, 4,983 degree laser beam from his eyes, headed straight toward Bob.

"This is gonna hurt...That beam looks really hot. Kinda like that time when I touched a campfire in the middle of the ocean." Bob said, closing his eyes as the beam flew toward his pants. Suddenly, a flashing light blinded the area and Mecha Faldor let out a huge scream.

As soon as the laser beam had gone through the fabric of Bob's pocket, it hit the sunglasses he had been given by Chuck Norris, reflecting back toward the evil robotic bunny.

[Sartorius]

"Hey, it worked! I did something fairly smart, didn't I?" Bob cheered, still pinned to the wall. 'Bzzt' sounds were heard as Mecha Faldor got to his feet. A spark flew from his metallic body, hitting his carrot lance, burning it at the tip and setting Bob free.

"You...Fool...You'll pay for your...insolence." Mecha Faldor struggled to say, trying to recover from the laser that had hit him. Because his body was metal, he conducted all of the heat and survived the laser, but the whole arena began to erupt in flames from the electric sparks and heat the robot was outputting.

"I...Won't lose to you, Bob. If I must die, then I'm taking you with me!" yelled Mecha Faldor. He picked up the remnants of his carrot lance and prepared to strike Bob.

[Sartorius]

"I'll be the one to finish this, and I will do it unscathed!" yelled Bob, preparing to deliver the final blow to Mecha Faldor.

"Wait...You wouldn't really attack...Your friend Mr. Blender, would you?" Mecha Faldor asked in a sinister voice.

"What you talkin' 'bout, Faldor!?" Bob exclaimed, hesitating to strike."

"Yes...He could be saved...I have absorbed his body, however, and you'll lose all chance of rescuing him by attacking me." laughed Mecha Faldor, still struggling to recover.

[Sartorius]

"Mr. Blender...Is this true?" Bob asked Mecha Faldor, dropping Excalibob upon the glass floor.

Mr. Blender's voice managed to break through and monotonously said "Yes, Bob. But you must save Georgia. It is far more important than I am."

"B-But I promised I would come back for you, Mr. Blender. You're one of my greatest friends since the Georgians betrayed me." Bob said somberly, falling to his knees.

[Sartorius]

"You must, Bob. You are my best friend as well, but it is the only way for you to save not only your home, but the world as well. Please, Bob...Destroy Faldor..." came Mr. Blender's voice. For once it was actually managing to show emotion.

"That's enough out of you!" yelled Faldor, whose consciousness had been temporarily separated from the blender's. "I only need your metal body. Your mind is of no use to me any longer." Faldor laughed, plunging his robotic fist into his chest. He pulled out the computer chip that made Mr. Blender operate, and with a final scream from Mr. Blender, he crushed it into dust.

"Ha ha ha. It's good to be rid of him. He was such a pathetic being...Don't you agree, Bob" laughed Faldor, who had fully recovered from his injuries. The arena, however, was still in flames.

[Sartorius]

"You...monster. You killed the only friend I had left in this planet." Bob said, his anger level going MAX.

"Oh, boohoo. Go QQ to someone who cares, fool. I am back at full power, and with that stupid blender out of the way, I can fight with all of my strength!" yelled Faldor, repairing his carrot lance and holding it a few feet away from Bob's neck.

"He was not stupid...He was ten times smarter and cooler than you'll ever be, Faldor." said Bob, who got off of the ground and picked up his sword.

[Sartorius]

"Whatever. Coolness and intelligence will not matter when I rule the planet. Any last words before your demise?" asked Faldor, who brought his lance almost an inch away from Bob's neck.

"I'll kill you for this, Faldor..." came Bob's reply. With those words, Bob jumped upon the carrot lance and ran up to the robot's arm. He then dashed past Faldor's mechanical shoulder and used Excalibob to slice straight through Faldor's neck.

"H-H-How can this be? I, the great Bunny King...brought down by you..." said Faldor, who began to lose balance.

[Sartorius]

Bob jumped off the robotic bunny who had caused him so much trouble, landing on his feet behind Faldor, who crashed in the other direction.

"Goodbye, Faldor." said Bob, and immediately after those words were spoken, Faldor exploded into flames, ending his reign of evil permanently.

The weight of Faldor crushed the glass floor, sending Bob straight down to the door where Martha Stewart was to be found.

"Now, to end this and ensure that no more innocent blenders are harmed!" yelled Bob walking to the door and preparing to open it. As an afterthought Bob said "I'll always remember you, Mr. Blender." and proceeded to go to the place where Georgia's fate would be determined.
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End of Chapter 6

Wow, that was a fairly long and epic chapter if I do say so myself. Then again, it really doesn't matter what I think as long as my loyal readers continue to enjoy the story. It was quite touching the way Bob and Mr. Blender spoke briefly before Faldor's demise. Anyway, with a new thread comes the same old sentence:

Love it? Hate it? Both? Post your questions, comments and concerns in the official discussion thread and I'll be sure to address them ASAP.

Until next time this is

Emperor Veralice,
Signing Off

[Sartorius]

Chapter 7: It Wasn't Enough!?

Hello readers, and welcome to the 7th chapter of the exciting Legend of Bob series. How lucky I must be for my stories to last this long. Well, as I've told some of you before, this chapter has an insane plot twist that none of you are expecting, so brace yourselves... On second thought, don't brace yourselves. It takes away the effect. NO TAKIN AWAY MAH EFFECT!!! Ahem, without any ado or whatever, let chapter 7 commence!
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Bob stood before the door which led to Martha Stewart's domain. One could easily tell this by looking at the large red letters which stated "Martha Stewart's Domain" on the front of the door.

"Wow...I'm finally here?" Bob asked in disbelief. Despite the fact that it had been less than 3 days since his adventure started, it felt like months. "I'd love to say something truly epic here, but that battle with Faldor wasted a lot of my time. I've got less than 30 minutes left!" Bob said, panicking as he ran around frantically. Suddenly a bolt of magic hit him in the head, stirring him from his panic.

[Sartorius]

"Who's there?!" asked Bob, turning around quickly. He saw nothing except darkness and some light from where he had fallen earlier. "Err...Whoever attacked me, thank you!" Bob said, pleased that he had been stopped from wasting time.

"Now...How do I get this door to open? Maybe I attack it?" Bob asked himself. He tried slashing, kicking, punching, and head butting the door. The only results he got were a massive headache.

"Ow...Maybe I should just ask 'Is anyone there?'" Bob said, clutching his head in pain. Momentarily, the door opened to reveal a large room with a chair at the very back wall.

[Sartorius]

"Woah...This place is huge!" Bob exclaimed, even though the room was pitch black. "For a prison, this place is pretty cool." Bob said, his head throbbing too much to realize that he was in complete darkness.

"Relief..." said a voice from the far end of the room. Instantaneously, Bob's headache had been alleviated.

"Hey...What just happened? Who fixed my head? Woo! My head is better!" Bob yelled, running around in circles, heavily appreciative of the lack of pain in his head.

"Light..." said the same voice. It seemed to be the voice of a woman in her 30's. As she said the word, light illuminated the entire room. It became clear to Bob that he was in what seemed to be a room the size of a restaurant, with one lone chair in the back. The room was decorated in portraits and gold, and even the chair had an air of royalty around it.

[Sartorius]

"Sofa..." said the female voice, and immediately a large couch was conjured. It rammed into Bob's legs, forcing him to sit down.

~I'd better get down to business if I'm going to save Georgia.~ Bob thought as he collapsed upon the couch. "Um...Are you Martha Stewart, the legendary criminal of Alcatraz?" asked Bob quickly. Georgia had about 25 minutes left until its demise.

The voice did not reply at all. The chair, which had been facing the wall, instead turned around to face Bob. The person in the chair was none other than Martha Stewart. Although she was 67, she seemed to be around 30 years old.

"Is that a yes?" Bob asked impatiently, struggling to get a response from the woman.

[Sartorius]

"Yes, it is, child...What service do you require of me? I am quite aged, and it is taking every bit of magic I have to retain my beautiful body..." Martha said. She stood up, looking quite nice for a 30/67 year old woman. She had short, blond hair, and pale skin. She wore a dark blue robe, which covered her from neck to toe.

"Well, my home state is going to be destroyed and I...What was I here to ask you again?" Bob asked. He temporarily forgot since his journey had been so long. Yes, three days is a really long time.

"Hurry...If you've nothing to say, then leave." Martha said harshly. She was very impatient and obviously wanted to get back to her sitting.

"Oh, right. I was told that you know a bunch about flowers, and you obviously know a lot about magic, so maybe you could help me stop a bunch of magical flowers that are summoning the moon to destroy Georgia?" asked Bob, whose story was as believable as it was crazy.

[Sartorius]

"Really...Such a request is...strange, to say the least...And I don't feel that I should help you. Being trapped in this prison so long, and for nothing! I tamper with the stock market and they imprison me for eternity...It's unfair! People shouldn't be allow-" before Martha could finish ranting about being trapped in Alcatraz, someone came through the door. It was the mysterious hooded woman that Bob had met earlier in his journey.

"Hey! You're not a carrot anymore!" Bob said, running to give the hooded woman a hug in honor of her survival. As he approached her, he was thrown to the floor by an invisible forcefield.

"Yes, defeating that bunny must have done the trick..." she said, walking toward Martha Stewart.

[Sartorius]

"You...You are Martha Stewart, are you not?" asked the hooded woman. As Bob tried to stand up, she turned toward him and used her magic to fling him to the ground again.

"That seems to be a popular question this evening..." Martha remarked with a laugh. The laugh was cold and emotionless...Slightly unnatural. "Yes, I am Martha. And you must be a native of New Zealand...Who are you and why are you here?" Martha asked the woman coldly.

"At last...At long last I've found you! Hahahahaha!" the woman shouted. She seemed to tremble with excitement at the discovery of Martha Stewart.

"Yes..I am well aware that you have found me. How you managed to get here is beyond me, however. Now, tell me who you are immediately!" Martha yelled, sick of the visitors.

[Sartorius]

"I am...Hilary Clinton." the hooded woman said. She removed her hood, revealing cold blue eyes and longer hair than the Clinton we all know. She seemed to be in her 20's, although in reality she was much older. Gotta love magic.

"Hmm? Ah, yes, I know now. Did you ever run for President, Hilary?" asked Martha, who had been sheltered so much that she was unaware of the happenings on the outside world.

Hilary gave an angry twitch, as if the mentioning of the subject infuriated her. "Yes, Martha, I did. I had such high hopes, but they were all crushed before me like a fragile stone. The country is not ready for a female President..." Hilary said, growing angrier while trying to stay calm.

Bob merely watched the two talk, completely forgetting about the task of saving Georgia.

[Sartorius]

"Yes, women in power aren't well liked in the world." said Martha with disgust. She and Hilary seemed to share many things in common. "Explain to me how you've come here, Hilary, and why you look so young. Perhaps I can help you if I know more." said Martha, conjuring a chair for Hilary to sit on.

"Help is actually what I've been sent here for..." Hilary said, sitting down upon the chair. It was soft and leathery! Leather!!!

"Sent? I'm afraid I don't follow you." said Martha, sitting down upon her own throne of a chair.

Hilary, although she seemed angry about the story, proceeded to tell Martha everything. "I've known that I've wanted to become President since I married Bill. But everywhere I went I was attacked, ridiculed, and mercilessly bludgeoned with tomatoes. I've got scars all over from the acid of those accursed fruits." Hilary said, rubbing her skin as if she could feel the pain of the scars.

"I thought tomatoes were vegetables?" said Bob, who was immediately pinned to the ceiling by the conjoined effort of Martha's and Hilary's magic.

[Sartorius]

"After a while, to protect myself, I was forced to stop running for President. I was angry and depressed at the same time, and life meant nothing anymore. I was preparing to leave the Earth when a mysterious figure came to me. He gave me this amulet..." Hilary said, producing a small golden, circular object attached to a string. It seemed to shine with energy.

"Hmm. Interesting...Continue." Martha commanded, dying to hear the rest of the story.

"Very well." Hilary obliged. "He said to go back in time, using the amulet. He wanted me to go kill my younger self. The part of me that had made the mistakes that led to my political failure." Hilary said, starting to shake in fear of the rest of the story. "I thought that he was insane, but I couldn't say it because I was afraid. He told me that once I did that, I should seek out Martha Stewart...Her power with mine could ensure our mutual ruling of the world..." Hilary said with as much courage as she could muster. Tears began to well up in her eyes.