You should post what they say about Xbox and Wii.
XBox
A huckery piece of shit PC with a Unified Architecture something a rather and even more Microsoft proprietary bullshit tacked on the motherfucking side. Bill Gates's answer to the Playstation. Continues his fine tradition of ripping off other people's work and claiming it for his own, as it is just an Intel PC with an off the shelf graphics card (originally a nVidia) welded onto the motherboard. It is now capable of going on the internets through Xbox Live making IRL an option further from the minds of Xbox fanboys. But some people will buy anything, as shown by the fact that your mother still turns tricks.
The truly elite will have both, but a source of much drama between poverty-stricken groups of 13 year old boys who feel their lives must be defined by dedication to which carefully marketed corporate device they prefer. Newsflash: Both suck and nobody gives a shit.
After all, everyone knows that the Gamecube is better; not that it really matters though, since no games have ever come out for it since its release.
Xbox 360 is the next shitty version of Microsoft's Xbox, as well as the first videogame console designed specifically to not work at playing games. It contends with Nintendo's Wii, Sony's Playstation 3, and the Atari 2600 with a shiny MSRP of $9,001 (a fraction of the price of the PS3). The Xbox 360 is currently out-selling the PS3, but is doing worse than the Wii because every five-year-old girl, senior citizen, and azn bought two or three. This new generation of the Ecks Bawks has had massive game sales with such titles as Bioshock, Gears of War, and Halo 3 (moar liek Biocock, Queers of War, and Gaylo 3, amirite?). Also, it should be noted that the Xbox 360 has a shorter life expectancy than the average African. Anywhere from 99 to 100 percent of 360 consumers have fallen victim to the infamous Red Ring of Death and scratched discs.
Xbox 360 is the greatest hardware failure in mankind's memory, as it was released with a poor design that makes you play against the odds when you buy one. 1 out of every 3 Xbox 360's sold will totally fail on its owner (or more). The unassuming patron will then attempt to send his 360 back to Microsoft under the 3 year warranty, only to realize that his modded system is void. This will cause him to start his life from scratch for having to get a new one (or alternatively, get IRL B&). And even those nerds that do send their systems back to Microsoft have to wait up to a month to get a new system, forcing them to do things other than play videogames, such as interact socially with other people. As a "solution," Microsoft released the Elite edition, which has some new shit that nobody cares about, but still suffers the Red Ring of Death. It also features a black, PS3 wannabe skin, which gives Microsoft even moar lulz out of their retarded customers as their 360s die. However, Bill Gates isn't laughing anymore after finding out that the 360's hardware problems will cost him over one billion USD.
Wii (pronounced urine) (or Nintendo Wang in Japanese) is the name of Nintendo's newest console with a MSRP of at Least 100 dollars. The idea was born by Japanophiles who thought the phrase "Wii will change everything" was the funniest thing ever. Nintendo claims the "ii" is an image of gamers playing together... which is complete crap as gamers have no friends with whom to play. The Wii fan base consists mainly soccer moms, 5-year-old girls, and whiny 12 year olds whose parents can't afford a decent gaming console. Anyone with half a brain knows that it's basically just the FailCube with vibrator/Wiimote capabilities and next-gen freezing technology. It is also 99.9% likely that it will give you wanker's cramp.
With the Wii's cutting edge waggle technology, you can expect nothing but the most mind blowingly, kick ass, new, and more than anything, innovative games ever made in the history of the universe. Have you ever played chess before? Fuck no, you haven't played chess until you've played Wii Chess! Unlike regular old boring chess where you move un-animated chess pieces across a boring wooden board using your fucking monkey hands, Wii Chess allows you to manipulate virtual chess pieces using cutting edge motion-sensor technology, allowing you to proudly shout "check mate!" at your opponent over the interwebs like any civilized 21st century gamer.
Expect nothing but the most cutting edge minigames in console gaming history. Aimed at "casual gamers" (read: your grandparents and kindergartners) the majority of future titles available will have innovative gameplay that can be run through in less than an hour. You can bet your blue overalls that Mario will continue to defecate on any sport imaginable, like Tennis, Soccer, Baseball, Basketball, Golf, or Curling. Even Link, from The Legend of Zeldur is being thrown into the mix, with his innovative game, Link's Crossbow Training, which will be exactly like the minigame in Ocarina of Time, only with more innovation, as it will use light gun patented Wii sensor control technology that has yet to be used in any arcade game from the 90s. Even Resident Evil: Umbrella Chronicles will feature the amazing minigame rail-shooter technology just like in House of the Dead 2 for the Dreamcast, which was actually a better game that has never, ever been used before in the history of gaming.
Also, since everyone knows gamers aren't lard asses that sit on their butts all day long, Nintendo created the Wii Fit. This is a game where you get to tear your muscles and trip over your own feet on a crappy board that Nintendo made like the Tachikoma units from Ghost in the Shell - with far less firepower and more of that annoying 5-year old girl's voice, which is guaranteed to drive you to self-trepane with a power drill JUST to wipe it out of your brain. Unlike the real thing, however, the Wii Balance Board cannot lick Daddy's lollipop and you can't hit it when it throws a tantrum in public, thus resulting in a -1,000,000 deduction from its already low score of complete FAIL.
Best selling Wii games as of December 2007:[1]
1. Wii Sports - MINIGAMES
2. Wii Play - MINIGAMES
3. Wii Fit - MINIGAMES and fat loser's favorite past time
4. The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess - LAWL, it's a Gamecube game.
5. Mario Party 8 - MINIGAMES
6. Super Mario Galaxy - OMG! I LOVE MARIO!
7. Wario Ware: Smooth Moves - MICROGAMES
8. Super Paper Mario - MOAR FUCKING MARIO!
9. Big Brain Academy: Wii Degree - MINIGAMES
10. Mario Strikers Charged - HOLY FUCKING JESUS CHRIST ON A POGO STICK! I CAN'T GET ENOUGH MARIO!
11. Rayman Raving Rabbids - MINIGAMES
12. Red Steel - 5.5
13. Metroid Prime 3: Corruption - Holy shit it's a sequel! Rock back and forth on my Wii, Samus!
14. Resident Evil 4 - LOL, it's another Gamecube port.
