Awesome Land II: The War of Four Kings

[Xero]

Lacquer looked startled at the strange figure, similar in appearance to Duke Nukem, that had just appeared out of nowhere on the Poltergeist.

"Who is this?" he inquired of Cha Cha.

Cha Cha turned around and noticed Narrator for the first time.

"Oh, this is Narrator. He's with us," Cha Cha explained.

Lacquer simply nodded and turned back to face Awesome Land, now drawing nearer. He stared at the dark clouds looming over all of Awesome Land and noticed two towers rising above all else. Dragons were flying from one of the towers to the other. Lightning crashed overhead and it began to hail.

"LOWER SAILS!!!" Lacquer shouted over the wind and thunder. The sails were immediately untied and lowered to the deck to be folded up, but not before the main sail was punctured by several chunks of ice. "TO OARS!!" came the next command. Salvatore ran below decks and repeated the command to the crew. The oars move in perfect unison and the mighty Poltergeist surged towards Awesome Land.

"Things aren't looking good," said Cha Cha.

Lacquer patted Cha Cha's back. "Hey! This is the Phantom Regiment! We've faced worse things than this!"

There was a loud shriek and an eerie cackle. Something white appeared in front of the ship, then disappeared. Suddenly, fire burst out in the crow's nest. The lookout screamed and dove headfirst from the crow's nest and plummeted to the deck. But he was slightly off and smashed his legs against the side of the ship and continued to fall into the ocean. Lacquer grimaced and looked overboard. There was no body.

"Maybe," he reconsidered, "we haven't."

[Duke Nukem]

Narrator pissed out the crow's nest fire. Ponies burst forth.

"Got that shit covered," Narrator declared. The crew was relieved that the fire would not spread.

[Mizagium]

Time Keeper faced Xero.

"Hmm? Who are you? You look like someone else, but I just don;t...ah! Now I reme,ber. You're one of them Watsrobes of Ausum Land, correct?" OMEGA RIDLEY raw'd again.

"My not-so-terrible reign is not over becasue you guys didn't let me do anything yet! I was gonna leave you alone and just attack Really Cool Land, but whatever!"

the Time Keeper snapped his fingers and a massive force of heavily armed Vainguard materialized form the Vanity Mirror. "Behold, the Vainguard Elite! They have cannons and don't afraid of anything!"

OMEGA RIDLEY rawr'd a thirds time. "What is it?" The Time Keeper demanded. He spotted the two Dragon Riders outside his tower. He nodded to OMEGA RIDLEY. "Go." He conjured up a force of Winged Vainguard and sent them off with OMEGA RIDLEY. The now-named 44th battalion burst out of the tower to confront the two who dared to spy on him.

"Now where was I...Oh? I see you brought a gift for me." He indicated the Ugly Stick. "How kind of you..."

[Xero]

Xero looked down at the Ugly Stick in his hand then jerked back to look at the Time Keeper.

"Yeah, right!" he spat. "Think again!"

Xero brandished the Ugly Stick in front of him and charged at the Time Keeper with a yell.

Meanwhile, the Blur stepped in front of the Vanity Mirror and looked into it. The image revealed his identity, his invisibility stripped away, although he was still invisible. Phantom picked up the Mirror and slowly sidled towards the door as Xero directed the Time Keeper's attention away from the Blur. Suddenly, the door slammed open and General Arlen emerged, breathless, with his regiment at his heels. He noticed Xero and the Time Keeper locked in combat and ordered his men to form a circle around the two combatants. Phantom took his chance. He moved to the outside of the ring and dropped his invisibility. He hurried towards the door and pushed his way through the Freedom Fighters, careful not to damage the Mirror. Finally past the the crowded stairway, Phantom scrambled down the stairs.... down the 9002 floors of the Clock Tower.

[Sartorius]

Veralice, still invisible, stared in horror as OMEGA RIDLEY and his crew charged out of the tower toward Taenas and Walter.

~Was that RIDLEY? I thought he had been destroyed? What has the land come to?~ Veralice thought, who snapped to his senses to stare at the Time Keeper and his evil.

Outside of the Clock Tower, Taenas and Walter prepared to strike down OMEGA RIDLEY. "What? That is a dragon of a type which I have never seen before!" Walter said, who had become well versed in the ways of dragons and dragon like creatures. "Regardless, we attack!" the emperor commanded. Armed with spears Walter and a group of Dragon Riders flew in circles around OMEGA RIDLEY.

Taenas took the remaining Dragon Riders to fight the Winged Vainguard. "Hmm. You shall be defeated." were his only words as he fired beams of pure darkness from Sindios. Crimson, his dragon, breathed flames everywhere in the area.

[Duke Nukem]

Narrator looked up and saw the dragon battle from Cha Cha's ship.

"Hey, it's that Emo Kid and Wailmer fighting that dragon we fought...why?" Narrator asked, speaking to nobody in particular. "I guess I should do something, even from all the way over here."

Narrator pulled out and fired a rocket launcher. The shot hit Meta-RIDLEY's ice head, incapacitating it. The monstrosity could no longer merely freeze the dragons it was fighting.

"Wait, why did I just help the people I was fighting in Awesome Land: Season 1?" Narrator wondered.

[Mizagium]

OMEGA RIDLEY quickly recovered form the blow and proceeded to LAZAH more dragon riders. Several of them were hit with a Void-ray, trapping them in the Null-Void.
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The Vainguard Elite kept the Ausum soldiers from coming between him and Xero. He still didn't notice the Mirror was gone.

He was getting no where with Xero. The man was very skilled. he would have to rely on underhanded tactics to win.

As Xero swung the Ugly Stick, Time Keeper sidestepped the blow. He dropped to his knees and swiped Xero's legs out from under him. Xero fell to the ground with a thud and the Ugly Stick flew out of his hands. A Winged Vainguards picked it up.

"You were a fool to challenge me..."

[Duke Nukem]

Narrator shot another rocket at the top of the Clock Tower. It hit the Winged Vainguard soldier holding the Ugly Stick, causing it to fall to the ground. Narrator has excellent aim.

"Piece of cake."

[Sartorius]

"Alright, troops! Leave this to me!" Emperor Walter said. Dimen charged at full speed toward OMEGA RIDLEY. When they were about a foot away, Walter jumped off of Dimen and onto OMEGA RIDLEY, plunging his spear into the creature's back. He withdrew the spear and got back on Dimen who fired concentrated energy at OMEGA RIDLEY.

Taenas and his soldiers were busy trying to take down the Vainguard, while Veralice was still invisible looking at the Time Keeper without realizing who he was. Hystoger started to glow in response to all of the chaos going on.

[Duke Nukem]

Narrator shot another rocket at Meta-RIDLEY's fire head. This head was also incapacitated. Narrator likes dictating events from a distance.

"Come get your ass-kickings while they're hot, ladies," Narrator taunted, althoug no bad guys were around.

[Mizagium]

OMEGA RIDLEY screamed in pain. Everyone seemed to be attacking him. He wisted about in the air, firing Fire, Ice, and Lazah beams to and fro, catching friend and foe alike.

He finally regained his senses and flew up above the winged army and Narrator. His chest glowed bright with the power of the Null-Void. His eyes burned with ferocity.

"He's gonna BLOW!" a random soldier shouted from below. And indeed he did. OMEGA RIDLEY fired a massive Void-ray down at the army(s). Several of the Dragon Riders got out of the way, but numerous others were caught in the beam.

Since OMEGA RIDLEY now contained the Null-Void in his chest, the Nullified (like that?) solders became trapped in the infinitesimal space in his chest, making him stronger. He began chargin' another Void-ray...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[Sartorius]

(LOL WUT)


"At this rate this monstrosity will be finished in no time." Walter jokingly declared, watching anxiously as the terrible creature was about to wipe out the rest of his dragon riding army. Taenas ignored the situation completely and slashed some of the Vainguard that had been attacked in RIDLEY's rampage.

Veralice stayed invisible, watching Time Keeper while Hystoger kept glowing.

[Xero]

Cha Cha looked up at where Narrator had just fired his rockets. He saw hundreds of dragons soaring through the air, shooting streams of fire at each other. And among the dragons was another one, but this one was different. It was firing LAZAHS. Could it be? He concentrated on the dragon. It was! It was RIDLEY! But it was much bigger and much more powerful than before. Cha Cha wished he could help his father and brother on top of the Clock Tower, but it would still take hours to reach the tower.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On top of the Clock Tower, Xero scrambled to his feet and dove to catch the Ugly Stick as it fell from the Winged Vainguard's hands. He caught it and rolled to his feet as he landed. He spun around and sweeped Time Keeper's feet with a low spinning kick, repeating Time Keeper's earlier maneuver. He swung the Ugly Stick, and the Stick came cracking down on Time Keeper's hand. Within moments, what used to be a normal human hand had transformed into the hand of a clock! The Ugly Stick was transforming him back to his former clock form! Xero whacked his other hand with the Stick, then backed off. As Time Keeper got to his feet, both hands now clock hands, Xero backflipped off the building and plummeted to the ground. In a move very similar to Cha Cha's in the battle against RIDLEY on page seven of Awesome Land: Season 1, Xero pulled his cloak around him, his cloak beginning to glow, the gold of the trumpet bleeding into the rest of the cloak, overtaking the original purple as he touched down onto the ground harmlessly. There was a bright flash, and a golden object streaked up all 9002 floors of the Clock Tower and began circling Time Keeper so quickly, only a gold ring could be seen. There was a loud screech, and Time Keeper fell to his knees, trying to cover his ears with his clock hands. OMEGA RIDLEY and the other dragons shrieked at the sound, and OMEGA RIDLEY dove to the roof of the Clock Tower while the other dragons landed on the ground around the Tower.

The gold object flashed to the roof and there could be seen a golden piccolo trumpet with a red rim and red valve caps. This was Xero in his Trumpet Master form. Xero charged his lazars and fired them at Time Keeper and OMEGA RIDLEY, then proceeded to jump to the next octave, and the next, until he had reached LOLPICCOLO C. He began to spin around, still playing LOLPICCOLO C, and Xero assumed his human form once more, his trumpet still held to his face, and the shrill squeal still blasting from the bell. He finally threw his hands down to his side, and the air pressure that had built up between his mouth and his mouthpiece was so great, that he literally blew OMEGA RIDLEY back ten yards! With that, Xero did another backflip off the edge of the Tower and, landing without a noise, ran to join Rowlek and his guerrilla force in the woods.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There was a harsh squeal coming from the Clock Tower. All the crew members heard it and they began to develop massive migraines. Then the squealing got even higher pitched, and even higher! Cha Cha knew his brother was in trouble if he needed to use his Trumpet Master powers. His eyes glowed white and his cloak began to glow. He whirled around and his human form was replaced by his Trumpet Hero form. Realizing that his friend's son was in need, Lacquer, too, spun around. The cape of his uniform flashed white and a Contrabass Marching Tuba now stood on its bell where Lacquer had stood seconds before. Leaving Salvatore in charge, Cha Cha and Lacquer flew off to the Clock Tower.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Phantom had finally reached the ground and was now running through the woods with the Vanity Mirror towards Veraland. He stopped to catch his breath when he reached Lake Awesome. He looked at the Mirror. He saw himself. He saw his sons. Then he saw darkness. The Watsrobes became shrouded in darkness, and only their red eyes could be seen. The glowing red eyes grew bigger and bigger, and the Music Legend could hear a deep, maniacal laugh. He struggled to look away, but the Mirror held his gaze. The Watsrobes were now wearing black and red capes. They had spiked collars and bracelets and were riding fearsome looking black dragons, also with spiked collars and bracelets. The Watsrobes and the dragons all had bright red eyes, and the Watsrobes faces were pale white. Phantom struggled to look away. Then, the image of the Music Legend turned to look at Phantom. His eyes flashed dangerously and he showed his sharp fangs for teeth. Phantom began to convulse. The image was overtaking him. He fell to the forest floor and shook violently, the image still flashing through his mind. He dropped the Mirror as he fell, and the Mirror fell into the lake. Suddenly, Phantom's eyes began to glow white. His cloak flashed and he was engulfed in a whirlwind. The Mirror stopped sinking and the image faded from the glass. The whirlwind disappeared and Phantom was on his feet again, fully recovered. The Mirror flew from the lake into his hands, and he dropped the Mirror to the ground.

He looked at the Mirror again, this time being sure not to be sucked into the image the Mirror wanted him to see. He pressed his hands against the glass. The edge of the Mirror seemed to pulsate light. The glass became black once again, but Phantom looked away. He only pressed harder. He shut his eyes and concentrated all his focus on the Mirror. It had to work! It had worked in reverse years before. Why wasn't it working now?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The year before.......

Phantom was preparing his boat to set sail. He was headed for Special Land, that wondrous undersea world that lay beneath Awesome Land. He hadn't been there in a while and was eager to see his old friend Lauren. He wondered if she was still as pretty as she had been years before. As he untied his boat, a figure emerged from the woods. He was carrying a Mirror. He thought he recognized the Mirror.

"Hey!" Phantom said. "Where'd you get that Mirror?"

The figure looked up at Phantom, his eyes flashing icy blue. There was no emotion in those eyes, as if the figure had just become Corrupted and was now overflowing with evil power. He raised the Mirror in front of him and flashed the glass at Phantom, yelling, "Avada Kadavra!"

The Mirror shook in the figure's hands and a green jet of light shot at Phantom. But suddenly, the light changed. The stream of light from the Mirror turned yellow, blue. The jet collided with Phantom, sending the Music Legend flying into the ocean. Phantom's eyes turned a bright white as he lay floating on the surface of the water. Then the white light faded, his eyes closed, and he sunk to the bottom of the ocean.

As soon as the white light faded from Phantom's eyes, the Mirror seemed to shatter, and a black cloud spread across the glass, consuming the Mirror's previous white glow. The figure looked into the Mirror and was captivated by what he saw. He laughed a maniacal laugh and stepped into Phantom's boat. He set the Mirror down in the bottom of the boat and sailed off toward a small island just off the coast of Awesome Land.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Why couldn't he force the Mirror's Power back into the Mirror? Phantom wondered. He punched the Mirror, but nothing happened. He sat down dejectedly and considered giving up. Suddenly, a twig snapped and Phantom jerked his head to the side to see what had made that sound. There was a low whirring sound, quickly getting closer and louder. Phantom turned to face in front of him... but it was too late everything went dark as he and the Mirror were dragged away.

[Mizagium]

"Your majesty?" a messenger burst into the Really Cool throne room. He carried an important package for the Monarchs of Really Cool.

"What is it?" demanded King Arthur.

"A package has arrived for you." He showed them the package. "It says it is from....from..."

"Out with it, boy!"

"It's from...Johnny...sir."

"What?" King Arthur rushed to him and immediately tore open the package. It was the Awesome Land Wiki. Puzzled, he opened it. Inside he found a page typed by Johnny chronicling his adventures in Awesome Land. It told of where Sarah was and how to rescue her. It ended with a plea for aid...

"I see..." the King sighed. "So, it has come to war..." He snapped a the messenger, "You! Go to the barracks! Tell General Tamwyn and General Corinth to ready their troops! Really Cool Land goes to WAR!"

[Sartorius]

Veralice, who was stifling his own laughter at the Time Keeper's clock hands realized who the person was. THE TIME KEEPER (DUN DUN DUN) Happy that he was able to piece together the new ruler and the fact that he had clock hands to form a complete picture of the Time Keeper, he realized that someone had taken the Vanity Mirror moments before.

~If I recover that Mirror perhaps I could return it and become famous. Or keep it for myself and harness its power...Whatever~ Veralice thought. He whispered something to Dante and they both ran out of the tower in pursuit of Phantom so they could locate the Vanity Mirror.

[Mizagium]

(this happens before Michaels uber-long post)

Jango Fett hovered above the battlefield. He saw many powerful looking warriors, bu they were of no concern to him. He had one target and one target only Phantom.

He followed him to the forest. Knowing he would be unable to capture him now, he waited in a tree. Phantom was too powerful to be taken down by conventional means...

Phantom began to stare into waht looked like a mirror. Now was his chance. He dropped down. He inched forward holding a concussion blaster.

SNAP!

He stepped on a twig. Phantom wheeled around. Without thinking Jango fired a blast from the concussion cannon. Phantom was out cold.

[Sartorius]

Veralice and Dante arrived at the forest just in time to see Phantom being taken away. The two sat down and started whistling silently, something only the MOST POWERFUL SORCERERS IN THE WORLD could accomplish. They forgot their current goal in the midst of their whistling, though it was only a matter of time before they remembered their job was to take the Vanity Mirror.

[Duke Nukem]

Narrator was somewhat pissed. Meta-RIDLEY was spewing fire and ice out of the heads he had incapacitated with rockets. Narrator hopd that didn't happen again. Narrator would do something impulsive and awesome if it happened again.

Narrator noticed that Cha Cha's ship was moving slowly. Narrator decided to do something about this. He pissed on the ship. The ship immediately grew wings and a rocket booster. The ship headed towards Xero's army with the power of countless horses. Toyota was ashamed of how few horses' power their vehicles had in comparison to the ship Narrator had just pimped out. Narrator pisses excellence.

[Mizagium]

Time Keeper stood up. He looked at how hideous he was now. Hate flared up in him.

TWICE CURSED by the Ugly stick of Really Cool. He called his hourglass-staff to him and, like before, used his time-altering powers to revert to his true form. (Lol Michael u forgot about that!)

"Enough!" He raised his staff and everyone was pushed against the walls. "I grow tired of your games. OMEGA RDILEY, come!" OMEGA RIDLEY recovered from the LOLPICCOLO C balst and returned to his masters side. "Watch the power!"

The Time Keeper leaded onto OMEGA RIDLEY's back. Using his loltimespace powers, fused himself into OMEGA RIDLEY. The beast howled in pain.

RIDLEY now looked the same except he was blood red, and his chest plate morphed into a hourglass-shape. He also gained the ability to speak.

"Hahahahaha! Behold" CHRONO RIDLEY! He alters time and doesn't afraid of anything!"

RIDLEY and the Time Keeper were now one!

[Duke Nukem]

Narrator discovered the LAWLASAURUS, WHICH EATS PONIES AND DOESN'T AFRAID OF ANYTHING.

"Hmmmm, a NEW dragon-thing..." Narrator observed from the ship. "Who's still up there anyways? I wonder if they have a rocket launcher..."

Narrator shot a rocket in Chrono Ridley's general direction. It exploded on the wall behind him. Narrator wants to make sure nobody forgets how great he is.

[Sartorius]

Taenas and Walter stared in awe as Time Keeper performed the unholy act of fusing with OMEGA RIDLEY.

"I'll stop fighting you for now." Taenas addressed the Vainguard. CHRONO RIDLEY was going to be a much more dangerous foe. Walter and Taenas and their remaining dragon riders flew inside the Clock Tower, mere feet away from CHRONO RIDLEY.

"You! Who are you!?" Emperor Walter yelled to the dragon/human/clock monster thing. He held his spear closer to him in preparation for battle.

Meanwhile, Veralice and Dante were done whistling as they had run out of songs. The duo ran after Phantom and the Mirror's captor, still invisible.

[Mizagium]

Meanwhile, in the forest above Veralice and Dante...

Boba Fett sat in the trees above the two sorcerers. He had to wait until one of them left, or they both fell asleep. This was all part of the job. Though there usually was more action...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Shadow successfully destroyed Motevator66's army, though the leader himself was no where to be found...

He gather his troops and turned back to the Clock Tower in time to see the birth of CHRONO RIDLEY.

~Uh-oh...~
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Near the ruins of Omnistar, the first squad of the Really Cool Army (RCA) entered Awesome Land. They were headed by General Tamwyn. He glanced around at this strange land. The first thing he noticed were the lack of physics and the multitude of plot devices.

~What a strange land...~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CHRONO RIDLEY flew up into the air: high above the Clock Tower. He gathered his army of Winged Vainguard. He fired a Void-ray at them, tuning them into the Voidguard.

Pleased, CHRONO RIDLEY turned to his true task. He raised his scaly arms high over his head. The hourglass emblem shone brighter and brighter until...

A massive ball of Void-Energy gathered over his head. With a screech CHRONO RIDLEY released it. It hovered over the land. It grew larger until all of Awesome Land was pulled into the Null-Void! Land, buildings, armies and all.

The even WEIRDER part? The Null-Void is contained in CHRONO RIDLEY's chest!

[Sartorius]

"Where could that mirror have gone? And where are we?" Veralice whispered to Dante from his lost place in the forest. Despite being the former emperor, he had no idea of some of the scenery in Awesome Land.

"You ever consider that it's at a different altitude than we are?" Dante asked, somewhat annoyed with Veralice's two dimensional thinking.

"That's ridiculous. But I'll go with it anyway." Veralice said. "FIRAGA!" came the loud yell of Dante and Veralice together. They began burning down the trees in an attempt to clear the forest so they could more easily locate the Vanity Mirror.

EDIT: "Oh, and does it seem...Negative...In here to you?" Dante asked Veralice, completely unaware that they were all inside Chrono RIDLEY's chest.

"I always feel negative, so that's nothing new." Veralice replied, burning more trees.

[Mizagium]

Boba had to jet-pack out of the way of FIRGA to avoid being burned, although he would probably been okay...

[Sartorius]

(I'm paying attention. Taenas and Walter have Dimen, the dimension dragon (hence his name) to nullify some of the effects of the Null-Void lololol. Veralice has Hystoger, which exerts its own chaotic influence to stop him from noticing. Dante is just Dante, and I can't speak for anyone else.)

"There. Finished at last." Veralice said. He removed his hooded cloak to reveal another hooded cloak as he hadn't changed clothes since the first season of Awesome Land. He and Dante had successfully burned down the entire forest but still had no trace of the Vanity Mirror.

Taenas and Walter were utterly confused as they had been staring at RIDLEY moments ago, but now they were completely lost. "WTF IS GOING ON?" Taenas demanded no one in particular.